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Real Spiritual Experiences

My Sudden And Beautiful Spiritual Awakening


My awakening sounds very similar to many of yours. It was a early spring day in 1998. I was 23 years old and in graduate school studying for my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. I was driving home from seeing a client one day and my life changed forever. I do not talk much about this and only a few people in my life know, but it truly was one of the most defining and life-changing experiences I have had. It has since informed my work as a psychologist and a woman. It was an extraordinary gift.

As I was driving home that day, I felt this sudden wave and rush of energy and love through my body. It was a feeling of pure bliss and insight. It felt as if everything made sense, everything was ok, all the experiences in my life were understandable, I could make connections to everything and with it an overwhelmingly beautiful feeling of "I am ok", total acceptance and oneness with nature and the universe.

I remember arriving at home and getting out of my car in my apartment complex. I saw a tree blooming in the parking lot (it was early spring) and it was as if I had never seen a tree before in my life. It appeared to be glowing, shining, pulsating, radiating energy and beauty. I could "feel" it was alive, breathing the same air as me, moving to the same energy and "life force".

I had this intense and beautiful desire to hug trees, roll in the grass, dig in the dirt, feel the beauty and energy of the earth - become "one" with the soil. It was so powerful and so beautiful. I should note that I am a city girl with no leaning towards religion/God or much experience with nature before this. I also was not on any alcohol or drugs.

Over the next hour (really not sure how long it was) I continued to have multiple insights and feelings of connection. I remember a feeling and envisioning that I was part of an intertwined web-like connection to everyone and everything in the universe (not just on earth). It was as if I did not exist, there was no ego, no "me", no boundaries. I was part of everyone and everything, we are all a part of everything. I also realized that I was tiny, absolutely miniscule, in the largest, most vast and unknowable universe. I could feel the infinite nature of time and space-- there was no feeling of beginning or end, just infinity. It was not scary at all, it was beautiful and wondrous.

What is interesting is that it has been over 11 years since that day and life has been busy. I certainly don't think about this everyday, not even monthly at this point. But for some reason I chose to do a search for this topic today and found this web site. I submit my story today to tell you and remind myself that we are not alone, we are not crazy. We have experienced a true gift. It has changed me on a internal level for which I will always be grateful... Even for the pain and struggle I felt after the experience as I tried to understand it and what it "was". Being a psych student at that time I was convinced I was going crazy, this was an hallucination or mania, etc. It was not. It was a gift meant to open me up to ME and show me some areas of life and humanity that I needed to learn and incorporate.

I wish you all health and happiness in your journeys.

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, bayareashrink, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Mary (guest)
6 years ago (2018-02-21)
I also had a similar experience when I was 23 (and in the Bay area finishing college at Berkeley - no drugs or alcohol). I also had a tree shimmering and glistening and was transported into an experience of complete wholeness and unity. It changed my life. In several other moments of my life (I am now 60), I also have had similar experiences -- not often, and not bidden, but which have come upon me and were tremendous and beautiful. I, too, am a psychotherapist!
Zendancer (1 stories) (27 posts)
14 years ago (2010-02-28)
Bayareashrink: I noticed that in one of your replies about your experience you wrote:

"But I have grown into a strong and receptive woman who inherently knows who she is and is secure in her skin (well, most of the time) :) I am now 35 and feel I have already gone through my "mid life crisis".

This is an interesting statement. Do you really believe that you are a strong receptive woman? If so, I would recommend that you read Suzanne Segal's book, "Collision With the Infinite." It points to something far deeper than any idea of who we think we are. Cheers.
GoldenGate (22 posts)
14 years ago (2010-02-27)
I have to admit that I do not have such astounding experience like you but this help me a lot in connecting, reading, and giving comment to people like you. It is such an exhilarating moments just to be able to read or giving comment. Yea, for some people such moments of grace could be in seconds, for others in minutes, still for others could be in hours, and even in days. I even have theorized that there are those on earth who have the conscious feeling such as yours and others on a daily basis, minute by minute. Well that is just my theory. So your gift, is sending light and love to your surrounding although you might not have a chance tell it to anyone yet believe me. Because we are an energy and vibration being on the other side. So what one vibrates, others will be affected so to speak. Don't you think so? It is all part of a grand transformation. To find our golden gate. And share with the majority of us.
😊 😜
Zendancer (1 stories) (27 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-03)
Bayareashrink, Rose, Wayne, et al: That was a great story that exactly paralleled my own. I didn;t see this post until after I had written my own story (First Enlightenment Experience), but now that I've found it, I wanted to add a comment. Rose asked how one can reconnect to the source? I've written about this in some followup conversations to my post. As other people have noted on other threads related to this, it is possible to discover that one is always connected, and the only thing that makes us think we are not connected is the habit of incessant thought. The freedom that Bayareashrink wrote about is the freedom one feels after becoming consciously unified with "what is." We have to see through the illusion of personal selfhood and tangibly internalize the truth that oneness is all there is. Cheers.
wayneb (1 stories) (10 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-17)
Hi Bayareashrink;
Your experience seems so similar to mine! The overwhelming feeling that all surrounding me was beautiful, the insights, the feeling of being a small part of the universe but, at the same time so connected to everyone and everything! The feeling lasted a little longer for me, slowly fading over the next few days but at times coming back at full force.

I have been slowly drifting away from my type A personality traits and this experience helped a lot.

I feel now that I'm on a journey of discovery, to discover who I really am. But not in terms society would understand, a more spiritual discovery. It may take the rest of my life but, that's ok now and wouldn't have been prior to my experience.

Rose (1 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-15)
Your experience directly parallels my experience. I was driving while a teen and, out of nowhere, I experienced what I call a "rapid injection of truth."

Your wording is almost word-for-word the "message" I received--I was 100% in tune with "all." Whatever it was seemed to "reach out" and convey to me that "all is beautiful, all is love, everything will be okay."

Unlike your experience, mine lasted seconds. But, while it lasted, I thought everything was beautiful.

I think you and I experienced "true reality," if you will. Our human bodies make it most difficult to overcome the material, etc., and connect with the source, which surrounds us. It is the truth, and we are surrounded by it all the time, yet largely don't recognize it in our human form.

Now that I've had the experience whilst in my human body, I struggle with how to tap into the "true nature" of our being. How does one go about reconnecting? ❤
bayareashrink (1 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-15)
Thank you everyone-- I am so happy my story has been an inspiration.

And yes Selena... I should talk about it more. It is wonderful to reflect back and remember (as well as see the journey more fully).

Wayne, to answer your questions--- no, I have not had the same "peak experience" again, or anything close to it really. It was other-worldy. I don't expect that gift again. And what did my experience change? Everything (literally).

The way I have come to understand the experience now (11 years later) is as a gift of self awareness that I was given, a window into my soul that showed me that I needed to grow and truly discover who I am. As I mentioned, I was 23 years and in my 2nd year of grad school. I was recently out of a heart breaking, whirlwind, intense International love affair where for the 1st time in my life I was ready to "give up everything" for love, for a man. This was something that was absolutely unheard of in my world-- I was supposed to be a doctor, I was young, independent, strong, intelligent, in a prestigious graduate school. Never would I ever had given up my dreams to move to another country for a man! Impossible. But he rocked me to my core--- it was a love that I could not explain away with logic (as I usually did).

Before this man I was the girl who was always in control, always the more dominant one in a relationship (dominant to the point of overly powerful) and I would invariably lose respect for the men I was with. I was a Type A, "take 'em and leave 'em" girl to the core-- strong, sexy, intelligent, self assured, powerful, desired, etc. My awakening woke me up--- I was literally humbled. I remember a vision of sorts I had during it. It was of a large breasted woman with her arms stretched out to me, motioning for me to come to her breast and lay against her. I immediately knew she was Mother Earth and there was a feeling of needing to join her, feel her, connect with this very real, very pure, very motherly and feminine archetype. I was SO FAR from that type of woman. I was thin (never voluptuous), hyper-masculinized and always hung my hat proudly of my ability to go "toe to toe" with men-- wether it was in class, at work, in bed, in debates, you name it. I believe the gift of my spiritual awakening was meant to show me that I didn't have to hide behind that armor any longer. I no longer needed to protect myself from my vulnerability. It humbled me, literally threw me down on my knees in front of the Universe and introduced me to my "shadow" self-- the part of my feminine nature that I was completely unaware of-- the soft, receptive, nurturing, intuitive, and compassionate side. The side that didn't need to use my body or my brains for male attention and identity.

It was (to say the least) awe inspiring. But I didn't have this full understanding of it for many years and I did go through a depression for about 2 years following this experience-- a depression I have come to understand as my "dark sea journey", my passage into my soul where I was to learn, truly learn, who I AM rather than who I felt I needed to show the world. It was a rebirth, a shedding of skin, a transition, a CRISIS really. It was painful in those years that followed. I felt I was a ship lost a sea, my internal compass spinning wildly and not knowing where to stop. If I wasn't that lost, hiding, little girl who needed external validation to know or try to like herself... Who was I? There was no roadmap, no blueprint for me. I had to go into the depths and discover who I truly was. It has taken many years of intensive introspection, devoting my career to this world, years of skilled therapy with amazing analysts, tons of dream interpretation, tears and grieving. But I have grown into a strong and receptive woman who inherently knows who she is and is secure in her skin (well, most of the time) :) I am now 35 and feel I have already gone through my "mid life crisis". It has informed me on every level possible and was the jumpstart of my journey home to my Self. I am forever grateful for that opening.
Jen (Aug 2009)
Tayvia (guest)
14 years ago (2009-08-14)
This is an incredible and inspiring story. There is so much more to life than we allow ourselves to see while being mixed up with all the material and emotional problems being thrown at us.

Absolutely beautiful. You should share it more often. Like I said, it's inspiring!
nancy (guest)
14 years ago (2009-08-10)
I love your story, I doin't think your crazy! I have had similar experiences. I was with my 6month old at a domistic shelter when we walked outside to get fresh air and all of a sudden the wind blew through my hair an the sun shined on me and about 25 birds flew in to the air all at the same time. I rember feeling as if GOD was trying to uplift my sprits, and believe he It was GOD show me all the beauty in the world even though I was in a bad position and very sad in that time in my life. GOD BLESS keep the faith
wayneb (1 stories) (10 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-05)
Hi Jen;

Thanks for the "we are not crazy" statement!

Have you had any similar expoeriences since the first one? How do you feel that this has changed you? Where do you think the feeling came from?

selena (2 stories) (13 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-04)
This experience seems so magnified, I can't begin to imagine what you must have felt. You are blessed... Thank you for sharing, and you should talk about it more...
Franca 😉

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