For the past two years approximately, I have had persistent and somewhat fearful deja vu. I had been traveling working throughout the us, and began having experiences of meeting people and being in the same places, and also being at times fearful and memories of even being hurt in past lives over this memory of some kind of eternal recurrence.
I think the hardest part for me personally is connecting with people around me when I say it feels like life is repeating and they tell me it's because of my choices, when I tell them they said the same thing before and they are in complaint about how life is going, or about the problems in the world.
It feels like I was facing down a demon that was working through a lot of people and it's on repeat, my life and my point of view has not always been this way and I find I lived most of my life with blinders on, and it was only these recent years where I experienced a lot of hardship that the blinders came off.
Some people I have talked too have cited multiversity connections etc and I can understand that, but it's also an enigma because from what I remember the people and life I have lived have been similar except I have not been hurt yet by other said entity. It's like entity or other human mind frame or control mechanism wants to keep the notion of being trapped or enslaved on the DL.
I really don't get the big deal and I don't understand the extreme mental torture I was put under just bizarre situations with intentions that only seemed to try to harm me.
Now with the negative said I have had a lot of great experiences that I know are my own as well to possibly re enjoy, but I am looking for help and or advice from someone who has experienced similar to show me a way to free myself from this spiritual and repeating bondage, and maybe give me insight and I hate to say this word but as to why. Any help is appreciated.
I also want to say I am a believer in God, meditation being kind and I have tried my best to be a good person, and this is not to shift blame but I do feel and from what I have experienced that I am being used, that even speaking or being aware of this enigma of a time warp really upsets whatever controls it. Any help or insight is welcome.