In all things done in life I always dedicate them first to God. This way He accepts the offering where there is no ego involved. Also, I do know that it is (He) who brings things about for us in being His instruments where we are able to give of ourselves for the service to others, no matter what plane of existence it may be. I do feel that this story should be told, as it will show that things we do while on earth is sometimes carried over after we leave it.
I received a phone call from my friends step-father a few years back, 2006 to be precise. He spoke about his interest in starting up a home circle... (séance), and wanted to know if my brother and I were interested. At that time I was looking for a permanent circle to sit in and was not about to pass this opportunity up, so we both accepted. It was a week later that I found myself with (7) others sitting in a semi-darkened room trying to make contact with spirit. All went well, messages came through, new contacts were made, family and friends long passed once again reunited in conversation. Two days later as I sat in meditation in my back garden, I was interrupted by a strong energy that came rushing in on me with an urgent request... It was a spirit man pleading for my help.
The following is his story: I was a married man with two children. I came home early one day from work to find my wife in the arms of her lover. Naturally I was shocked and devastated by what confronted me. After a lot of yelling I gathered up the children then left. I drove around for sometime contemplating one thing... But decided against it. So I took the children back home then proceeded to carry out that which I was contemplating on earlier. I ended my life with a gun shot to my head, and now I deeply regret my actions. I am not trying to make excuses for what I did. I left behind a lot of pain and suffering and I am very sorry for it. I have been trying for so long to get through to my wife to tell her how sorry I am and for what I have caused her. Will you please take my message to her, tell her that I can not move on unless I have her forgiveness. After he gave me his name I then realized who he was... He was the maternal father of my friend.
My first thoughts were: how was I to deliver a message such as this, what would I say... How would I say it. I thought long and hard on this awkward predicament I was now in, then gave it up by asking for God's help. I thought it through carefully... Then when my mind began to settle I then remembered the urgency in his words. As we communicated further, I lost all sense of self and felt the terrible weight of his guilt which he has been carrying for many years... It was a terrible feeling indeed. When he finished telling me his story, I then promised him that I would do the best I could, in fact that all I could do. I was thinking of driving over to talk with my friends mother in the afternoon but decided against it, maybe I was just a little put off by having to face her and not knowing what her reaction might be... So I decided to phone instead... I asked God for His help in directing my words appropriately so not to cause alarm, and especially in not being thought of as interfering in something which is personal and private and has nothing to do with me... Or bringing a terrible memory such as this back to the surface. All this was running through my mind as I dialed her phone number... But then I realized why be worried, God is with me, so I relied totally on Him in this.
When she answered the phone I made quick conversation on something quite different, then when the chance came I told her all that was told to me, including the guilt her husband has been suffering with since his death many years ago... And how he cannot move on from where he is unless he is forgiven for what he caused.
He knows of the mess he left behind and how terribly sorry he is, (this I delicately told her as best I could). I then said: he tells me that he can not move on unless he has your forgiveness. He also says that he forgives you, and he forgives your lover and wishes you both all the happiness in the world. I repeated that part twice so to help her understand just what he was asking from her, and that was one thing only, (Forgiveness.) I again mentioned the pain and guilt he was experiencing, trying to make her understanding of his anguish, and how much he wanted to move on if only she will forgive. Then I waited for her response. If not for her breathing I would have thought she hung the phone up. After some long seconds, she then said: (NO), I can not and will not forgive him. She then said, did you know he used to bash me, then she hung up. I tried my best what else could I do. I prayed for him asking God to help him move on. Then two days later he came back saying (Please, Please try again.) You must try to make her understand the great importance of this. She "herself" can be helped if only she will listen and try to understand. He then told me she has Parkinson's Disease, though its only in its early stages, but if she opens her heart to forgiveness her disease will then be limited, I was told this (he said.) She will still have to bear some of the effects of this disease, but not its full impact, but only if she opens her heart to forgiveness.
He went on to say: I am trying to make amends in someway for what I've caused. (I believe he was being helped as I could see two blurred figures standing in the background. Men of authority I believe.) I decided to go to her home and give it another try for his sake, as well as for hers. (I knew I was pushing this to its limit, and I didn't really want to further this request but something inside me kept saying do it).
If not for the anguish I was experiencing through him I would have told him much earlier that I will not force another against their will, especially in this situation, it must come from her alone without any pressuring on my part, otherwise it wouldn't be a legitimate forgiveness. So I told him I will give it another try.
When I knocked on her front door she invited me in. We both sat down at the kitchen table and began talking on other matters, breaking the ice I guess. Then I mentioned his name. I tried hard in painting her a picture as I began telling her of what he said. He knows what he has caused you and the children. He also told me what he did to you when he was on earth. He has told me how sorry he is for all that he had done. From where he is now he can see much clearer the mistakes he has made. He says, he has nothing but regrets. I then asked her to help him in moving on by saying "I forgive you," and mean it from the heart. Know that everyone makes mistakes when on earth, this is what earth is all about finding the bad traits that we hold within us then correcting them while we're still here in the physical. Many learn the hard way through the wrongs they have done to others, only thing is many do not learn until its far to late, and the greatest learning of all is Forgiveness. She was not moved in the least in what I said, I then started to understand just how much hurt he must have caused her, and no matter how much pleading I do she was not going to forgive him no matter what. I told her I did not want to interfere, but he did come to me pleading for my help and I couldn't turn him away, his anguish was far to great and his guilt very heavy. I understand, was all she said.
Because he was standing next to me while I was speaking with her, I felt the anguish in his disappointment when she refused. A few nights later as we all sat together in the circle... At her home... She whispered (wayne) can you see who's standing next to me in spirit. I told her it was (He.) Then I noticed a woman standing next to him. (He) began telling me that this is (her) daughter who died before birth many years ago. Not (his) daughter, he was not the father, but some other. With excitement for her I said, your daughter is here, the one who died many years ago before birth. She never responded, I then thought maybe she didn't hear, so I raised my voice a little louder but not to disturb the others. Again I said your daughter is here, she is asking for you to ask questions, she wants to speak with you.
No response again was forth coming. I sat there dumbfounded and felt the others did as well. I could not understand why she did not speak, then I began to realize that there was much more to this then I thought. I repeated to myself that from now on I'll just keep quiet and say nothing. But little did I know what else was to come, because at that moment an elderly lady appeared in front of me. Then I said, your Grandmother is here and would like to speak with you. Again she wouldn't answer. (I knew then that both daughter and grandmother was desperately trying to make her understand the great importance for her to forgive. Not only for him who was stuck in his own regrets, but for her. You see, this was a lesson for them to learn, but now they will have to repeat another life together and possibly go through similar circumstances until they get it right. I am not saying he will commit suicide again, I am not saying this at all, but there will be circumstances in their lives where similar events will come about where they will have to face this together all over again. She was given much grace to end this here and now, but she refused. One day she will see this clearly... But then it will be to late.
When I looked at her through the semi-darkened room I could see that she was staring straight at me, and her look was one of shock. I don't think she expected me to make contact with her family in this way, in fact it was her family who contacted me. I was to unsettled within myself to further meditate after that, so instead I just sat there with eye's closed waiting for the end of the hour to come.
The next day the spirit man was back, he told me he will not bother me ever again after this last attempt, and that was to do a voice recording of his message, then pass it on to her. He began to say, it is solely in her hands now, and she can "Never" say she was not given the chance. Its to late for me to take back what I have done, but for her, she was given a great opportunity in helping not only me, but that of "herself," only she could not see it, or she refused to see it and did nothing. He then said that he will move on when he feels he is ready and not before. He thought he could help her, and that was his primary motive. But of course he did want to be forgiven. If he got that (he said) he would have felt much lighter and much more at peace. Then he would have happily moved on. But now he felt as if he was drowning in his own guilt and has been for some time.
Next day I went over and gave her the tape. I told her he won't be back, because this he told me was his last effort in seeking forgiveness from you. He wants you to hang on to this tape recording and when you feel its time, listen to it. My friend phoned me a few weeks later to inform me that he heard the recording. Nothing else was said concerning the tape or the message, or even that of his father. To this day I don't know if she has forgiven him or not, but I do know that her disease has gotten much worse where she rarely leaves the house.
"Love and Forgiveness," definitely (no) love and definitely (no) forgiveness. I don't judge anyone, I have not the faintest idea what must have occurred between them when he was alive, though he did tell me of some things. They themselves must deal with this alone, but sadly I feel its too late, most times its always too late and they will have to come again in another life to settle the score... To "Right a Wrong" in other words. Sometimes we are blinded in not being able to see the truth of things, (our ego is the cause of this). Only until we expand beyond this dimension through meditation and spiritual practices will we be able to see things much clearer. We come to earth to learn certain things and to evolve, if we fail then we have to come back again and again until we finally learn the lessons which we have chosen to learn. He did tell me there are others over there with him who have shown and told him certain things. One of these things is (Love and Forgiveness.) In love there is Forgiveness... In forgiveness there is Love. They go hand in hand with one another (he said.)
The Power and Greatness in these two beautiful words are incredible. But of course you must put these words into action, and sadly that's what's lacking in the world today. He was told that this is what Jesus and other great masters taught when on earth. He also said, that most diseases which are rampant on earth today are caused from the negative emotions which many hold onto... Not all but most, others are the causes from misdeeds in past lives. And yet, some souls have chosen to take on certain illnesses as a learning experience. I believe strongly in the words that Jesus spoke over 2000 years ago when on the cross, which signifies clearly this very same message of Love and Forgiveness: FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.
More was said, but to give it all in detail here would be far to long. So I guess the moral of this story is: NEVER harbor ill feelings towards anyone. We don't have to like a person there's no harm in that. As long as we don't hold onto deep seeded hatred towards others, or any of the low animal qualities that sometimes spring up from within which does cause great harm to ourselves. As we start to spiritually progress along the path, we should learn to find these animal qualities and eliminate them once and for all.
This is why we come to earth, to progress towards perfection in the realization of our "True-Self." Maybe we take to many things for granted in not knowing the full impact caused by our foolish actions...words, or even our thoughts. When we die our bad traits don't die with the body, they accompany us to the other side, this I have witnessed on numerous occasions throughout the years... Even with well known celebrities. If we are to progress we have to look deeper within ourselves, in this way we will discover the good and the bad which we house within, then with prayer and effort we will learn how to discard the bad which in turn will help remove the obstacles that block our path to perfection... Then with God's grace we may win "Liberation of the Soul."
I did try hard to keep this short as possible, but to do that would cause much of the real meaning in this to be lost.