I have read some similar stories on this web site, and I have been touched by the Holy Spirit. It was a very dark time in my life, and I was an isolated sinner... Through out nearly all of my teen years, I was addicted to pornography. It was a secret because I was too ashamed to share my struggle with anyone. Nobody but me and God and satan knew about what I was into.
It was during this time that I realized how much power evil had over me... I remember looking at the mirror, my expression in the reflection of loathing and disgust is etched in my memory. It is scary how much I hated myself, and how badly I wished I were dead. Every new years I would make a resolution to stop watching porn, but within a few days I would fall back into it... Just like a drug addict. I felt so far from God because I grew up in the church, and realized there was no way I was going to heaven if I was trapped in this snare.
One of the last days of my senior year, I was just so overwhelmingly depressed, and I told my mom I didn't feel well enough to go to school. She knew how much I hated high school, so she didn't try to persuade me to go. I went in my room and I just cried and wept and apologized to God. I repented of everything in weeping desperation, and confessed that I was scared of where this road would take me, that I had tried to stop doing what I was doing, but that I was powerless... That I needed Him, and only He could save me.
At that moment, I felt this warm, loving energy rush over me, and it started in my feet and moved all the way up through the top of my head. As it was moving through me, it was cleansing me of all my shame, darkness, and depression! And when it left the through the top of my head, I only wept with gladness and awe! I was completely rejuvenated, mentally, physically, and spiritually! It was such a beautiful moment, one I can barely describe with words. I absolutely believe it was the Holy Spirit... And ever since then, I have never doubted that I am His.
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