My name is Ashley and I am 22 years old. My mother passed away on January 8, 2010 and I loved her dearly. I know many people can say they had or have the best mother in the world, but I can say with my entire soul that I loved my mother more than anyone in the entire world after our lord Jesus Christ.
My mother was a very religious woman and although she may have not gone to church regularly she was a true believer. Every good deed she did for someone would follow with her saying "I want my spot in heaven" My mother had asthma and had been in and out of the hospital a few times. She felt terrific for so long and would have to do breathing treatments on her nebulizer a few times per day. Unfortunately, my mother had an attack and her lungs just shut down.
When I received the news that my mama was gone, I was torn up and felt like someone ripped my heart out with their bare hands. I live 2 hours away from home and had no idea what to do. I was not at my home at the time and had to rush out to my car. When I got to my car I remember falling apart in disbelief. I come to tears right now thinking of it. I get a nauseating feeling to my stomach. I clearly remember just calling out "mama mama not my mama" at that very moment I felt entirely warm and a weird feeling in my stomach and all over my body. I felt her there and get goose bumps even now thinking of it. I knew she was there and I was terrified to look to my passenger seat because I thought for sure she was sitting there. As a daughter having such a close bond to her mother I knew she was there. You just know.
Well long story short I came home and threw up the entire way here. As I pulled up to my driveway I knew driving up or walking in the place I called home would never be the same. I had my dad meet me outside and as soon as I walked up to him I couldn't cry one bit. I felt peace and felt like my job was to be strong for everyone else.
That next night I threw myself on my parent restroom floor crying and begging my mother to show me that she was OK. I begged and begged her until I couldn't even make sense of what I was doing anymore. I received nothing from her, I didn't get any kind of sign, noise or anything falling off somewhere. That crushed me because I thought my mom would never let me lay there begging and pleading and not give me anything in return.
The night before her funeral, I received advice from my uncle who lost his son (my cousin 18yrs old.) 2 years before now. He told me that I needed to ask my mom to come to me in my dreams. My uncle went to the cemetery where my cousin (his son) was buried twice a day hours at a time for 2 years. One night he had a dream that my cousin and another boy were surrounded by white light and told him to stop going to the cemetery because he wasn't letting him rest. My cousin then asked him unless you would like to come. The boy that was with my cousin kind of elbowed him and said no man you can't do that. My cousin then told his dad no dad I'm just joking and walked off. My uncle has not gone to the cemetery since.
Taking my uncle's advice I just asked my mom in my mind to come into my dreams. That night I dreamt her. I saw her at her old job just standing looking at my brother and I. I pointed straight at her and she saw me doing this, I pointed at her and told my brother look that lady looks like mom. My mom then got a small smirk on her face and then I realized and told my brother wait that is mom! She then had the biggest smile imaginable. I ran up to her and hugged her as did my brother. I asked her "Mom are you ok?" and she replied "Ya I'm ok, God took me." The next thing was kind of fuzzy but as soon as she said that I heard her say either bright light or white light and I might have moved in my sleep or something but the dream ended and I woke up. I never opened my eyes though I just woke up in my sleep if that makes sense. I was the first one out of my entire family to dream my mom and I knew that would happen. I know I'm going to be the first one to see her one of these days and it kind of scares me but I can't wait.
I know some people may say, oh you are just inventing things in your mind and want to assure yourself that she's OK but I know my mom and I know she wants me to know she's OK. My mother had a powerful influence on my life and played a very important role in my life as I did in hers. I know in my soul that our lord allowed her to tell me she was OK and that's all I needed. A few weeks later her mother and 2 brothers all dreamt her the same night. Coincidence, I don't think so.
Take all the feelings and little things as signs because your loved ones never leave you.