I am writing this as a tribute to the all inspiring, powerful spirit that we sometimes call God and who I like to call Love. This is also a tribute and thanks to the many great souls, both incarnate and disincarnate, who have truly helped me on the path towards light.
It was many years ago that you gave me a visit, but it still feels like yesterday. I must have been a ghastly sight that quiet fall night, half naked on the top of my bed, sobbing pathetically in a drunken haze saying "Is this all that life is meant to be? Is there nothing more after we die?"
I was too deaf to hear your voice then but hypnotically I followed you to the dark computer screen. I knew what I was looking for before the windows logo even came up. Frederic Myers, Life After Death. The proof a stone cold atheist like me needed.
I don't know what time you left Love, but I didn't sleep that night. My eyes were fixed on the glowing computer screen like a tranced man, unable to and unwanting to leave.
When the first faint rays of the rising sun touched my hand in gentle reminder, I was a new man and I haven't stopped thinking of you since.
I must stop here to apologize for the time you visited me and gave me quite a startle Luv. I did not mean to hide from you as quickly as I did (nor scream) but you must understand, it was a natural reaction for me at the time.
It was very early in the morning and I was half asleep as I'm sure you remember. I don't know what on earth you were thinking that day.
"Hmmmm, why don't I give my buddy [joe] a scare? He's been ignoring me for quite a while now and I don't really appreciate that."
There I was almost about to go to sleep again when the most peculiar sensation flooded me. Euphoria beyond words, beyond meaning and comprehension was rising in me. It felt so good, so calming and yet so energizing. Honestly, at first I thought I was going mad. So please understand that when I opened my eyes and looked to my left and saw you floating there in mid air (you looked like a blob of glowing white light, I didn't get a chance to take a good look) it was the icing on the cake and I just couldn't help but scream at the top of my lungs and hide in my blankets.
And even though you left me feeling great for weeks afterwards, do me a favor. Please, next time, at least drop me an email before you visit.
But Love, thanks for being there when I needed you the most. You're my strength. I can remember your last visit when I was sick. I couldn't see your pretty face very well, nor my brothers'. You were all so blurry but I could feel your love. It just came out of you like a powerful wave of relief to me. Even knowing who I am, how unworthy I am to be in your presence you still welcomed me. Oh Love, you touched my face and then I believed you were still with me. As your energy and Love coursed through my body, this winter didn't feel like it would be a long one at all and that endless summer days with you awaited.
And so as cheesy as this may sound, I can think of no better words to say than: from the complete bottom of the heart, in this life and forever more, through victories and defeats, and with every single breath I take, I love you too.