To all that will spare a few minutes to read my story,
Thank you for your time. I have felt very much compelled to share this story with as many as I can.
My name is Chuck and I have been touched by the hand of God three times. Please take from my story and my message anything that you can and pass it on. I hope that it finds it way to someone who needs help as I did.
The first time I was touched by God was 13 years ago. I had a great pain in my head, a pain stronger than I had ever known. It brought me to my knees, caused me to weep and wish for the relief of death. I was taken to the ER where I was given much pain medication that helped and found that I had a blood clot in my brain. I was admitted into the hospital for about a week where they filled my body with blood thinners in hopes of destroying the clot. I left the hospital with blood thinning medication and felt much better.
Three weeks later, on Valentine's Day, as I laid on the couch recovering, my right leg fell asleep and went numb and wouldn't wake up. My right arm soon did the same followed by the right half of my face and even my tongue. I then found that I was unable to speak. I could understand what people were saying to me and I thought that I could talk but when the words reached my mouth they were lost. It is the most scared I had ever been and I didn't know what was happening to me. I was again rushed to the ER.
I found that I was having a stroke. I was told that even though I had been on multiple blood thinners, my clot had grown to four times the size it had been three weeks earlier and was killing me. The hospital I was taken to was unable to help me as my critical situation was above their care level. A helicopter was called to take me to a better equipped trauma center. While I waited for that helicopter surrounded by family I was told that I would more than likely die and was brought a phone to call anyone I wanted to say my goodbyes.
I was told when I reached the other hospital that I would undergo a surgery to save my life. This surgery required the doctors to go through the veins in my thigh all the way up to my brain where they would try to clear the clot. I was told that I had about a 90% chance of not surviving the surgery. However, if I chose to not have the surgery I would continue to have strokes until I was dead.
While waiting for the helicopter on a bed in a room surrounded by my family a priest came into my room. He stood beside me on my right side and touched my right hand and asked me if I wanted to say anything to God. I was not catholic and had not requested last rights. That priest looked at me with eyes that held a level of compassion and love that I had never seen. I did not think about it until later, but when he touched my right hand, I felt a lot of warmth and love. My right side was completely paralyzed and I could not move or feel anything on the entire right side of my body, body I felt that touch. We had a short conversation and the priest walked out of the room with the door closing behind him.
My brother who was in the room wanted to have a private conversation with him and immediately followed him out the door. The door opened into a long hallway where you could either go to the left or the right. As soon as my brother stepped out he looked both directions and could not see the priest anywhere which stunned him. He went to the nurse station to inquire of the priest they had sent to my room. He was told that they had no priest and had sent no one to my room. No one outside of my room had seen him.
The helicopter arrived for me and I was flown to the other hospital where I was taken directly into an operating room where surgeons were already waiting for me. About 8 hours later I awoke with the ability to move and talk, It was truly a miracle and I am convinced that God had sent an Angel to me disguised as a priest who spared my life.
Since that day I have wondered why I was spared. Who am I that deserved this miracle? I felt very guilty that I had been spared when so many others are not. What plan could God possibly have for me that he needed me to remain here?
For many years, I have tried to live a good life and help others when I could. All still not knowing my purpose and wondering why I was given this great miracle.
Four years ago while working on an accident investigation as part of my job, I fell and crushed my right hip. I required a total hip replacement. After that surgery, I was in tremendous never ending severe throbbing pain for a long time and my leg would not fully heal. Eventually they did another surgery and replaced some parts with non metal parts. When I awoke from that surgery I felt much better.
Now there was a new problem. In the first surgery they went through the back to install the prosthetic hip going through all those muscles. On the second surgery they went through the front going through all those muscles. I came to find that your body can only take so much trauma and then it will not heal past a certain point after that. So, due to my earlier stroke, the muscles in my leg will never heal which leaves me unable to walk without a cane and causes pain in many parts of my body that will remain with me throughout my life.
These last few weeks have been a very dark period in my life. I was in pain as always, have financial problems and a whole host of other issues that had been weighing on me very heavily. Late one night while sitting on my couch, I had decided that I was going to end my life because I was just so tired of all of the pain and problems of life.
As I was considering the different methods of suicide, my dog jumped on my lap (he is a Welsh Corgi a smaller dog). I had not called him or spoken anything aloud. I had not seen him for awhile prior to this moment and did not even see him coming before he was in my lap. He sat on my lap and placed his front paws on my chest and stared into my face. Again I saw those same eyes that I had seen on that priest years earlier. I felt all of that love and compassion directed at me and into me. I no longer had the desire to end my life and will never consider it again.
I was very humbled yet still confused. Why had God spared me for a second time? Who am I that deserves these blessings from none other than God himself?
Although I knew I would not end my life, I continued to ponder this issue and others for several days. I then prayed this prayer to God:
Dear God, the Holiest of the Holy, Lord of Lords, King of Kings and my father,
Blessed be thy name. Lord, I have a great many sins that I regret and ask for your forgiveness as I want to be able to join your kingdom when the time comes. I so want the ability to spend eternity in the warm, bright light of your love in heaven.
I also beg your forgiveness that I have spoken to you many more times asking for help than I have praising and thanking you. I promise that I will try to change that. I know that nothing is hidden from you.
I know that upon my death bed, you sent an Angel to be by my side whom through you spared my life at a time when I should have passed. The reason that you have spared my life is still yet unknown to me. I also know that through these most recent very dark days of my life you spared my life a second time. For I was close to suicide, another great sin, and you stopped me through my beloved dog.
Lord, I am at a great crossroads in my life. I feel that my path is blocked and I am quickly losing the desire for life. I don't know how to proceed.
My Lord, I ask for your guidance as I am lost. Please help me to find my way and to service you. I am full of fear, pain, mental anguish and hopelessness. I know that I am not supposed to feel these things but I cannot help myself. I throw myself upon you for mercy, your never ending love, forgiveness and help.
Thank you for all of your blessings thus far. Blessed be thy name.
That night I had a dream. I very rarely dream, or don't remember when I do. In my dream, a dream that was so vivid, I saw two hands holding a chisel and a hammer. Upon a piece of green slate rock, I watched as these hands carved out ANTHONY on the rock.
When I woke, I immediately knew that God had shown himself to me again. A third time. I was obsessed with finding the meaning of the message ANTHONY. I could not think of any Anthony or Tony that I knew. I went on the internet to see what a search of ANTHONY would reveal. I immediately saw the name of St. Anthony. I had heard the name, but being a Christian but not Catholic, I was not familiar with who he was or what his story was.
I was absolutely stunned, if that is even the word, when I read about how people pray for St. Anthony's help when they are lost. It had matched my prayer almost word for word.
I then felt that I should find a church near to me and pray for the help of St. Anthony. I again went to the Internet to search for close churches and was again stunned when I saw that one of the closest churches closest to me was the St. Anthony-Padua Catholic Church. This could not be a coincidence.
I went to the church, lit a candle and prayed for the help of St. Anthony to find my way. I then spoke to Father Juan who told me more about the life of St. Anthony and the scripture of Job. It was a blessing to talk to him, he seemed to know exactly what I needed to hear. I immediately felt better.
I then went home and read the book of Job. I felt very ashamed in the face of God. Who am I to ask anything of him? Who am I to ask for relief of suffering to the one who has felt and feels the suffering of all who have been, are and will be? I realized that any knowledge I thought I had of God amounted to nothing more than a grain of sand on the beach of the universe. I know that God gave us Jesus and our salvation is through him as he is the only one worthy of standing before God. There is only one truth and that truth is God. Nothing else matters.
I have figured out a few things. I know that God has spared me for some purpose. I know that St. Anthony was a great deliverer of messages. I have sent a message to the President, Vice President, Senators and our Governor about all of the recent violence in our country. Am I supposed to share this same message and my story with others? I don't know, maybe I am just insane. I will share my message with you as I think God wants me to. You can then decide what you should do with it.
Our country has suffered much through violence. It seems that all morals, ethics, accountability and responsibility have left us. Our Children are killing Children. God's heart bleeds for us and it is our fault for we have failed to teach our children. We have become so busy in our lives trying to make money that we have failed to raise our children. We now fear punishing our children and hold them accountable and responsible for nothing. Children are for the most part raising themselves and as a result are growing up like wild animals. How can we really expect any actions different from them that which we have already seen?
The answer to our problems does not lie with creating more laws. No gun laws or other laws would have prevented any past tragedies or future ones. Creating laws that don't solve problems only creates bitterness and further divides our country. The problem is that the thought of going into a school or movie theater or wherever and kill mass amounts of innocent people is an acceptable action.
It wasn't that many years ago that the bringing a gun to school was not even a thought let alone a concern. Ask yourselves what has changed to create the situation we are in today.
What has changed is the way we raise the children of this country. We need to attack this problem through education and parenting. We need to hold adults accountable for the actions of their children.
Let us concentrate on and find ways to make our children understand the difference between right and wrong. If we are able to bring back basic morals, ethics, responsibility and accountability our problems of violence will solve themselves.
That is my simple message and I feel better now that I have shared it.
May God bless us all!