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My Mother Continues To Guide Me


My mother passed away in 1988. I was only nineteen when she passed away. Since I missed her so much, and because I still needed her in so many ways, I believe she has continued to guide me many times. In addition to her visiting me shortly after her death, there have been times that I have felt her, and situations have come up that are way too much for coincidence.

The night before her funeral my mother came to me in my dream. I was so happy to see her, and the dream was so real that I believed that her death had to have been some terrible misunderstanding. After all, she was right there before my eyes.

I asked her, "Mom, is that really you?"

"Yes, baby girl, it is me, but I only have a minute," she replied.

I began to wail because I did not want her to go, I did not want to believe that she was dead, after all I had just experienced a miracle. So I said, "no you can not go..."

Her presence left, it slowly dimmed out. I realized it had to be a dream. Then in the dream a phone rang, and I answered it. It was my mother. She explained that it was too much for me to see her, so she decided to call me so that I would not be so upset. She said that she had to talk to me.

"I do not have a lot of time, and I want you to know that I love you, and anything that you feel bad for, you need to let go of. All of the things that you want to say to me, I will hear. I will always be with you, and not just in your heart. I gotta go, take care of your girls, I love them too..."

Then the phone was silent. I cried so hard that it woke me. When I woke I did not have to strain to remember the dream, her words were like they were a part of me. I know that my grief could have made me think strange things and that I could have willed this in some way. However, the sense was so assuring and I knew it was real beyond any doubt. It was different than the kind of dreams that "just feel real..."

Regardless of rather it was her speaking to me or just a dream does not matter because she has shown me signs that removed any doubt that I may have had. On my first Christmas without her, a small bell rang completely on its own. That alone may not seem like there is anything spiritual about it. However, she had always gotten me a new ornament for Christmas every year. For the last couple of years since I was on my own, I too had gotten her an ornament as a Christmas gift. During our last Christmas together we exchanged ornaments as in the past. To our surprise they were the exact same ornaments. A tiny Christmas bell. This is the bell that rang on it's own.

My mother had me write down the story of "The Night Before Christmas," as she had told me for years, so that I may continue the tradition and tell it to my two daughters. On the second Christmas, I was looking to read it for the first time to my daughters, as the year before it was too painful. I could not find it. I thought I had put it with the Christmas cards that I keep. However, that was not the case. I said a silent apology to my mom for losing it, and promised that I would retell it as best as I could. I gathered the girls to begin the story when my oldest daughter (then age 5) said that I had to hang up one more Christmas stocking. It had been my mother's, but I explained to her that it was my mom's and since she was not alive anymore, I did not think I should put it up. My daughter explained, "Mamaw says you have to hang it up..."

I looked at her amused that she was trying to get me to do something by telling using, so to speak, the your mom said so, kind of thing. However, she explained that Mamaw had just told her right now. I was too amazed to question it. So I got the stocking and while straightening it up to be hung, I found our version of "The Night Before Christmas" that we had wrote.

This may seem like a coincidence, but again there is a sense of assurance that I felt when she told me this, and I do not think my daughter was old enough to make it up. Besides I felt my mother's presence regularly, although it did not seem as often as it was in the beginning. I think this is due that I needed her less and less. However, there were a few other times she made herself known, and one in particular, but I will leave those to the next time I post. My mother will always guide me.

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Freespirit, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Timfaraos (131 posts)
8 years ago (2015-01-21)
It is good to mourn for our dead family members... But I think we feel more sorry for ourselves, than for them, actually! I have heard of people seeing their dead relatives in dreams, telling them: 'Please don't cry for me! You are upsetting my peace!'...strange but true! If we want to help our dead relatives and friends, we can- and should- pray and fast for them, as much as we can, and also help the poor and sick, in the dead person's name. This helps ALOT. God bless. Timfaraos [at]
gysyblue (2 stories) (80 posts)
11 years ago (2012-02-04)
Oh this story is exactly what I needed tonight. It settled my heart. It's so sweet, so loving, so beautiful. It's a beautiful love between mother and daughter.
Zendancer (1 stories) (27 posts)
13 years ago (2010-01-20)
Tony: You cannot help your sister unless she asks for it. If she asks, tell her to become silent, look within herself, and silently ask the question, "Mom, I cannot be at peace until you answer me. Am I forgiven?" The answer may not appear immediately, but if she will silently bear this question in mind, it will be answered, and your sister will find what she's looking for.

I know a woman whose mother died shortly after giving birth to her. She suffered a great deal over never having known her mother. Every Mother's Day she would be filled with sadness and despair. Fifty years later, while on a silent retreat, she sought to find a resolution to the issue. She reached deep inside herself and discovered something amazing. She realized that she was one-with her mother and would always be one-with her mother. She had reached the ground of her own existence and discovered at that level that the entire universe is unified. She had reached deep enough to discover what underlies our consensual reality. This resolved the issue completely and she found total peace. If your sister asks for your advice, tell her that the answer to her question is inside herself. Who her mother IS is still here, and her forgiveness is total and everlasting!
Tony Hernandez (guest)
13 years ago (2010-01-19)
Excellent story! Sorry about your Mom. I have a question though. My sister used to yell at my mother for not putting her hearing aid (s) on. My Mom just took it, and never said anything back. When my Mother was about to pass (12/26/09), my sister asked her to please forgive her. But we couldn't understand my Mother anymore (died of Cancer) 5 minutes later, she passed away in my sister's arms. But my sister is not at peace with herself. I say my Mother forgave her a long time ago, but how can I make my sister understand this? Or does anyone else have any ideas, how my sister can find peace? Thanks and God bless you all!
furball710 (guest)
14 years ago (2008-07-10)
Hi Freespirit, my mom died May 24, 2002. It was very unexpected even though she had had a minor stroke a year before. In that year I watched her age and become so fragile right before my eyes. But her death was such a shock and was something that we had not even though would happen so soon. We are Chinese so the funeral and ceremony had to be done according to tradition. My sister and I didn't have a clue about any kind of Chinese tradition (thank god for my Great aunt). We wanted everything to be perfect and up to standard for my mother. A lot of it is more superstition than religion. On the last day of the wake and going to the cemetery the closest young male relative has to carry a torch like incense behind the coffin as they load it onto the hurst and follow with it on the car to the cemetery. That person was surpose to be my husband because my only older sister was not married and we had no brothers. But my aunt's decided that my older sister should do it because my husband is not Chinese and they thought he would not understand. At a time with so much on my mind I really should not have cared as much as I did. But for some reason I was so insulted and hurt for my husband even though he understood fully. I didn't let anyone know how I felt at the time. That night after the funeral I was asleep in bed and I woke up in the middle of the night but I was really not awake. I started to feel a pulling energy on my hands. Like an electric force pulling upward but my hands were at my sides as I laid there. My mind was fully awake but my body was still asleep and I couldn't more with my eyes still closed. All I can hear was loud static like on a radio or TV when you can't get a station. I was not afraid and somehow I knew it was my mother. I couldn't hear her because of the static and I keep calling her and calling her until finally she shouted at me (I guess she was annoyed I couldn't hear her and she had to repeat herself). She said in Chinese to me "well done" and I knew she meant the wake proceedings and the funeral. That was all she said and the static was gone. I was not ready to let her go and I kept calling for her but she was gone. At that moment I started to panic because I could not move. I felt paralyzed. I could feel my husband next to me and all I can do is just lay there. I was trying to move so hard but to no avail. After a few moments I jumped up screaming and scared the hell out of my husband. When he asked me what was wrong he said I just laid back down peacefully and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up with such a calm and peace in me and I knew I felt so strong about my mothers visit to me. I guess it was her way of calming me because she knew I was so hurt about the torch thing.
The next time she came to visit in my dream she looked so beautiful. The prettiest I have ever seen her and she was wearing the dress that she was buried in (the same one she wore to my wedding). And she told me it was so wonderful where is (in heaven) and she gets to travel all over the world. She even made a comment about how big cats are at some place she went to (she knows I love cats because I have 2). It was such a happy dream until she turned around and told me "oh by the way it is so nice I am taking your father" she saw the stunned look on my face and said "he is old". I woke up still stun and disturbed like in a way I knew it was more than just a dream. This was about a month after she died and I just figured it was my fear of not wanting to lose my father too. About a week after that we found out that my father had lung cancer and only had at the most 3 months to live. I didn't think any family could have such bad luck and thought there had to be a mistake. My father had not even been sick. But there was no mistake sure enough 6 months after my mothers death my father passed away also. That is went I knew that dream was a warning to let me know what was going to happen. Since then my mother visits with me a lot and it is always the same dream. In the dream I always know she is gone already and I know she is only here for a little while for a visit and she always looks so pretty and I always cry when she has to leave. Sometimes we would go shopping together or go to old places and say remember this or remember when we were here together and it is a trip down memory lane. Most of the time it is just me and my mother and sometimes with my sister also but never with my father too.
I have dreams with him in it but the only time that he came to visit me in a dream in that real way was to tell me that he knew it was not right the way my mother made this happen and he knew that we were very unhappy by taking him like this so soon but he it is ok. That was the only time he ever came to me.
Sometimes I just lay in bed and pray that they will come to visit me again.
Reading your story makes me so happy because even though I know for sure it was really them. There was always that 1% that I might be crazy. Thank you for making me 100% sure.
partisan (1 stories) (11 posts)
14 years ago (2008-06-23)
Hi Freespirit- In recent times I seldom allow myself to use the words 'die' or 'dead'. It's a hard habit to break, and things will go on if I forget! But the notion that I am a body, and that you are too, is that idea which allows for this idea of "death". I am not a body. A lightbulb that is not turned on is like a body. When the bulb is turned on, it is like a person, alive. When the bulb breaks, there are no pieces of light shattered onto the floor. Life is not touched by the frictions of this world. It seems to be, because we are fixed in erroneous ideas of so many things. No one is "dead" nor ever has been, as far as I am concerned.
Freespirit (1 stories) (1 posts)
14 years ago (2008-06-22)
Parisan- Thank you for your supportive comments, and especially for sharing your friend's story. Although I have felt my mother mother many times, I have always thought of her as dead, but with me spiritually or at least in my heart. It is nice to think in the terms that she is not dead.
partisan (1 stories) (11 posts)
14 years ago (2008-06-21)
Thank you, Freespirit for sharing this with us. It sounds true enough to me. I hear you expressing some of the typical doubts, but essentially, you hare convinced of these incidents as real. I have had people suggest to me that I manufactured stuff out of desperation and need. A friend of mine confided to me a story that rings very similarly. Cheryl volunteered to baby-sit so that her Mom and Dad could go out together one night. That night there was a bad car accident, and Cheryl's Mom 'passed on'. The next night at bedtime, Cheryl could see by her bedroom door, her Mom, and she was told by her Mom that it was NOT her fault that she had 'died'. I have NO doubt that this was all very real, or true for Cheryl, and despite her 'gutsy' demeanor, usually, she was just full of tears in sharing this account. I have read from a couple of sources that " communications with 'the dead'" are either non-existent or forbidden. Some of these sources are really ominous and seem so genuine, but I cannot accept this part of their 'teaching', at all. The apparently bonafide accounts of such posthumous communications (of which I am aware) are never frivolous, although they may be joyous. There are too many 'teachings' that present life as an ordeal of awakening or transcendence-none of which makes the least bit of sense to me. If life is such a "trial", no incentive exists to rise higher within it. But it is love itself that is my standard for "spirituality", and your tale wreaks of such love. So I thank you for it, and appreciate your Mother's devotion to her beloved ones- you and yours. Remember, she is with you, and not just in your heart. The appearances of separation seem less and less like truth to me. If God says " We are all One" that's good enough for me. And besides, I have experienced this as a truth - the realest thing I have ever experienced! I don't know why you repeatedly say that your Mother has 'died'. Does not seem like it to me!

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