So I am here to connect, share and reflect on the events and messages I have been receiving from my spirit guide and want to connect with others who are on a similar path or generally just curious.
On 29th September 2016 I lost my 23-year-old best friend and cousin to suicide. Without a word being spoken, he was gone and left us with a lifetime of unanswered questions that will never be answered. I was so close to him that I began to actually understand the logic behind the cause (in the best I could) when no one else would even try. I will never forget the pain and sadness I felt in losing someone so close because no one believes it will happen to them or their family until you get that call.
A few days before the funeral (when his spirit was newly pure) I received a beautiful message from him. The most perfect white feather on the wall near my bed, I could feel the warmth in his presence. I was not alone as my best friend also experienced his message and the bright white feather disappeared within 45 minutes and he was gone. I did not tell many people about this experience because it was so special and personal but also because the majority would think I've lost my marbles.
Since this I have been trying my best to get on with life by progressing in my career and moving into a house with my best friend. It has been until recently where I have started noticing the synchronicity in everything around me. I understand astrology and that the world is changing this year compared to 2016 and that people are waking up but I have felt this awareness more so than ever before. Feelings and signs that are impossible to ignore or think it is a coincidence; recurring dreams, recurring patterns in numbers, constant double numbers when I look at the clock (most hours) which is usually symptoms of spiritual awakening although I know this is through the help of my spirit guide, my cousin and my protector. Without going into too much detail, examples that he was present were; lights flickering, music playing randomly that would relate to him, dreams where we are connected, photos turning up at my new house when we were young, always seeing one bright star at night, white feathers unexpectedly falling or finding them in strange places, etc.
I then looked into ways to communicate with my spirit guide e.g. Mediums but this could also invite negative spirits and I did not want to jeopardies his connection because each time was more special and I became more aware. I have spent hours researching into spirit guides which has lead me here, now. The fulfillment I feel of getting closer to truths and hopes about the universe linked to spirituality has never been so strong. I now feel connected and more aware of how he is waking me up to see everything in a different light.
I have recently felt withdrawn from others around me and spent this time questioning myself. I feel that I have absorbed negativity from certain friends that has left me feeling drained and questioning the friendship and if it is healthy. I find myself wanting to connect only with my best friend and someone online who understands from being on a similar vibration, the one I am now discovering. I feel isolated from people I would usually make the effort with, but maybe this is just a process? Maybe this is just leading to a more positive path?
Normality to daily living routines or materialistic objects have now been distracted by investigating these signs, messages and feelings more to raise my awareness. It is a quest to authenticity, simplicity, real things, that truly lead to my heart.
I am content in myself through achieving a degree and from gaining a professional job in helping and supporting others but I feel like I have a recent deep yearning for a meaning in my own path in life. I want to have a purpose, a goal when I wake up. Before receiving all the messages and feelings, I thought I truly knew myself (just did some growing up to accomplish!) but really I don't want to be defined by society or others anymore. I want to learn and grow my true ''self'' and bored of wearing a mask that has been worn for too long in order to be what others expect. I do not want to see through the filter of the illusions of society anymore, but through the filter of the heart and soul. The desire to reconnect who I really am which is becoming stronger and to finally acknowledge that I have the answers to my ''self''. I am aware that through this journey I can ask for the help of others (family and friends) and be inspired by others, but only myself, my higher self and higher consciousness can give the answers I am waiting for. I have always enjoyed my own company but the recent desire is stronger to spend time alone, to meditate, to research and to trust my intuitions.
I now have the understanding that the more you grow spiritually, the more your energy increases, and the more you will understand how perfectly everything is orchestrated. You meet the right people, at the right place, at the right time, you desire something and it happens. The more positive your energy is (higher vibration), the more you will attract positive circumstances in your life.
I am now beginning to know my emotions' purpose and what vibration I hold. Living in fear or worry is the worst thing to do as we create our reality based on our own thoughts and we attract that which we give our attention to. It is important to base decisions on love and trust and to be in gratitude and joy. It is key to be make ourselves more connected with the world and what is going on around us to build a better place for ourselves and each other. Your heart and your soul only feel fulfilled when you are of service to the world. You don't look for gratification for what you do or getting anything back, you just want to give and love for free.
We are one with all living beings and nature and all of this should make you feel a deep feeling of bliss. A burn in your chest, of love towards life, of gratitude, of joy, of enthusiasm for no reason or to make these positive changes. Love is the key to our journey through life and to love yourself is the first step. I have been shown a way through my spirit guide to accept and move forward no matter who we are or what our backgrounds. I have been awakened and it is the start of a new life.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog and thank you for taking the time. Feel free to message me:-)
Peace, Love and Light