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Real Spiritual Experiences

The Eye Of The Beloved


In the past I've had experiences of merging into the All-One, overwhelmed by Universal Love. I've also had experiences of nothingness, of confronting the Nihil which underlies all being; I found this to be distinctly different from Oneness, but also intensely blissful. Then a few years ago I had an experience which involved both of these states, as well as something totally new and unexpected.

I woke up in the middle of the night, which can be a good time for consciousness expansion. I made my usual efforts to get into a meditative state, mainly by focusing one-pointedly on stopping thought. I kept falling asleep and waking up, and didn't get into a high state. Then suddenly I saw stars and the bright planet Venus on the darkened ceiling above me. This meant that I was in the twilight state between waking and sleeping, and I was fully conscious in it ~ an ideal situation for altered consciousness. So now my efforts to shift to a higher state were wildly successful: I went into the Nihil and floated in ecstatic emptiness for what seemed like a very long time. Finally a disturbing sound caused me to come fully awake, bringing me out of the state.

I decided to make still another meditational effort, and this time something different happened. The nothingness seemed to coalesce into an eye, a big numinous eye floating in the center of my field of vision, looking at me. This eye was the All-One, filling me with the radiance of unconditional love. The Oneness was so perfect and all-consuming that it didn't even occur to me until afterwards to wonder about how it was that the eye and me were clearly two entities, yet subsumed into One by our love. I had never experienced anything like this before ~ in previous experiences, my 'I' itself was the One, even if it was way beyond my ego.

The Eye was perfectly tangible and alive, as perceptually real as any physical object or person, in fact more so. This in itself was new for me: I had never before witnessed such seemingly solid external numena, even in the days when I used to do LSD.

Finally the vision faded. I stepped outside and saw the full moon at the peak of the sky, a marvelous aftermath. I recalled a Zen story in which the master said that after enlightenment there's nothing to say or do ~ you can only sigh and look at the full moon. Then I realized that there might be more than just poetic synchronicity involved ~ surely the energy of the full moon, especially at the zenith, must be a potentizing factor for such experiences, like a catalyst in the crucible.

For some time after the experience, I thought of the apparition as the Eye of God. After awhile, though, another layer of meaning manifested: it became clear that the experience was intimately meshed with my love life and with my overall emotional and interpersonal development. My relationship with divinity is lucidly reflected in my human relationships. With this realization, I began to think of it as the Eye of the Beloved ~ a visible emanation of a subtle loving presence that always surrounds me, if only I have the eye to see.

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, JosephRex, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

NaturalScience (3 stories) (110 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
J.Rex I mailed to you under the email address I found on your web site. The mail came back as "address not found" five days later. Dunno whether I took a wrong address, out of time, or whether I miswrote it... Or whatever.
JosephRex (1 stories) (8 posts)
13 years ago (2011-01-22)
Guten Tag, Natural Science! Unfortunately I don't speak Deutsch, but I'm interested in it as a vehicle for spiritual expression. It seems to have a special value for this, given all the great German philosophers and mystics.

Your comments are very intriguing, and inspired me to read all three of your spiritual experience stories. I'll comment on the first one after I have a chance to meditate on it a little.

I've written a whole book titled *Legends of the Metasphere*. It's a collection of fictional stories based on my spiritual experiences and the Weltanschauung that has evolved for me out of them.

I, too, was raised Catholic, and like you had some very painful experiences from it. A big part of it was fear of hell, as you mentioned in one of your stories.

I looked up Yahveh Zebaoth in a book about ritual magic, and found the technical meaning in terms of the complex system of Qabalistic spheres, and also the literal meaning of the Hebrew term. However, this is less important than what YOU mean by it. Yes, there is God the All, God the None, and God the creator ~ three distinct aspects of the same divinity, though sometimes it's important to relate to one or the other according to their special cosmic function.

Also I affirm that my experience was definitely with the Personal Aspect of God/Goddess. That's what made it so beautiful: it was exquisitely, intimately personal!

I recently started a blog; it only has three entries so far, but it's all about what we're talking about here. It's called METABLOG ~ Visions, Transmutations, Awakening from the Matrix:


There's also a link where you can find out more about my book, in case you're interested.
NaturalScience (3 stories) (110 posts)
13 years ago (2011-01-21)
Hi brother you use the same terminology (for example metasphere) as one of my spiri acquaintances in Germany, Hartwig Kopp. If you can read German look him up on WWW.

Besides, as to this eye, I think it is the first time you met with the Personal Aspect of God which unites Nihil and All-One in itself. I know the symbol from my religious Childhood. You met with none less than Yahveh Zebaoth, the Earthmaker, our Godfather. I bow to you having had this supreme of Darshans!

I am an ex Catholic - in fact I am one of the many post-Catholics researching the religious and spiri world alone and waiting outside the Church of their ancestors for it to repent and change and rearrange so that they will be able to feel at home in it again - renegades because of their love of Jesus and the Father, not because of lack of this Bhakti.

Have a good time reading my posts, and those I answer to!

You'll be astounded how our spiritual recognitions start converging from one end of the world to the other.

You are but one more example of this.

Liberty Dignity Infinity be always inside and all around you!

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