I do not claim to be overly-religious or what you would call 'God's favorite'. The only thing I do know for sure is that God has something for me in this life and I want to do my utmost best for Him and others.
I received my Baptism and First Communion at Saint John's Church in downtown Schenectady, New York. Within this same church, I had a vision of Jesus, our Virgin Mother Mary and a radiating cross when I was 10 years old. I was standing on the left row of the pews and probably in the forth row down with my family. I was trying to listen to the priest like all the other people in the church. All of a sudden and out of nowhere, I felt this overwhelming pain deep down inside me. The sudden pain felt so excruciating I felt like crying. This pain I can't really describe in detail, it felt like every kind of pain known to a person quickly rolled into one. It just felt like spiritual bodily pain. I felt like gasping for breath because it was so great but I could not really get a word out of my mouth. The spiritual bodily pain seemed to be embracing me sort of speaking but not in a terrifying way. The pain was overwhelming but it somehow felt it had a surpassing hint of sweet deep love to it. 'Sweet...sweet pain...' I moaned inside. Even if the pain was overwhelming, I did not wish to be rid of the deep love. I closed my eyes to try to quell and compose myself from this unknown pain I was feeling. I suddenly felt like something was being pushed into my chest with great force. I opened my eyes to see what was going on and saw a soft golden light flash out at me, blinding me a little bit.
That's when I saw the vision. I was on a grassy hill in a group of people wearing robes. The people seemed upset and were crying. I was wondering where I was when I looked up and saw Jesus crucified on a cross. I fearfully saw everything He went through in detail. I saw the crown of thorns and the sign above his head. My heart felt incredibly heavy and sad! It just plummeted. I started to cry in the vision. I fell to my knees and brawled at what Jesus went through. What he actually done to save us! I realized the people were his disciples. I looked at Jesus and saw soft bright lights floating near him- I somehow knew they were angels. I suddenly felt mature inside... As if I was immediately older, as if I was experienced more in life you know? I looked at his disciples again and I saw Mary, the virgin mother of Jesus to the left of the group. I wanted to tell them that he will be raised again! He will come on the last day and the faithful will be saved! I thought to them-to Mary. I could not talk to them for some reason-I could not comfort them the way I wanted to! 'He will be raised-He WILL come back!' I thought.
All of a sudden, Mary turned and looked at me. She could see me! She smiled and nodded even if her eyes were filled with tears. She looked at the disciples-her family and friends and then back at Jesus. I then got up to my feet and walked over to her but could not speak to the people for some reason. It was almost like I was being pulled toward only Mary. I hugged Mary but could not speak to her either. Mary was the most sweetest and motherly figure outside my family I ever met! We somehow spoke with our thoughts-telepathically. 'He loves all of us and he will be raised. He will come on the last day; I believe it with all my heart and soul Mary.' I said to her. She stroked my hair while hugging me. 'Yes, he will. That is what we were told by him as well. This is what we believe in our hearts and souls as well. My son will come again in His glory and love. He WILL rein forever. He will come again someday.' She said. 'He loves us all.' I replied. 'He does-He truly does!' She replied happily.
She then told me I have to go back. I did not know how I was within a vision or how they did not notice my 'modern' clothing either. I guess it did not matter, but I also got the feeling of wearing a robe too. This was the second time something spiritual happened to me! I realized God was sending me this but why?! 'I am merely 10 years old! Why am I, of all people, seeing this?! Our Savior...' I cried in my mind. As Mary and I looked at Jesus again, I started to feel upset again... NO ONE, I think, could possibly know what I experienced that day. HOW MUCH he sacrificed to pay for OUR sins! HOW MUCH PAIN he had to go through... As I stared at him I somehow fell into a deep peacefulness, despite all the sadness. It felt like it was only Jesus and I in this... Sacred space, I can put it. To my surprise Jesus, despite all the pain he went through to save us-slowly opened his eyes! He smiled at me and said: "Don't cry Anna, I did this for You. I did this for Everyone. I Will come again. I want you to tell everyone, wait for me." He smiled one last time before closing his eyes. I then let go of Mary and felt like I was slipping back through the light. I was back in the church. I was overwhelmed with shocking emotions. The golden light I saw before had formed into a cross and still being pushed into my chest! It was not terrifying or painful in any way however, the cross of light was pushing with such strength. It was like it was fighting to reach into my chest. The next sensation I felt was water being poured all over me. It felt almost sticky and had a sweet scent to it like honey and flowers. The cross was almost inside me when I heard a deep yet gentle voice booming in the church. 'I'm sorry this is so shocking for you Anna, but I HAVE to do this. Bear with me honey.' The Voice said. I turned my head slightly to the other people who were still standing and listening to the priest and wondered why no one else was hearing and seeing this. 'No, it's okay; I KNOW why you have to do this God.' I said. At that time I did not really know why I said that. My soul was seeing and speaking to Him that day. The cross was fully inside my body, inside my soul and I felt it turn upright.
When the Vision ended, it left me in awe with a sense of Great Burning Love for my Lord. Afterwards, I had an overwhelming urge to cry in happiness when I went to St. John's and other churches. I did cry, even to this day. I'm just sensitive to my Lord and the feeling overwhelms my soul. When I think of or see the Divine, my heart feels like it's on fire and my soul is filled with light. Jesus told me not to be sad in my life and to tell everyone, so here I am-doing exactly what he asked. God bless you all.