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How Do I Find My Spirituality?


Growing up, I have experienced many things: seeing shadows, hearing breathing, sensing certain people/animals and things are going to show up and then they do, finding crosses, sensing smells, feeling coldness and fingers on my back, using writing as communication with a spirit (take over my hand/very cold), repeated dreams of being raised to the window from the floor in a stream of light coming through a church window, dream of white flying people shapes, nagging intuition on what to do in certain situations until it is done then it goes away (like someone is telling me but I don't hear a voice other than mine), bed shaking and things falling on floor, swirling electrical feeling by my ear when I was sleeping, driving and seeing bright white light making me pass out behind the wheel (I don't know how but luckily I did not crash and it seemed amazing that I didn't even veer off the road at all, when I came through I noticed I was still on the road between the lines but going slow, I was out for at least a minute or so, cause the car in front of me was now way up the road)...etc... These things happened more when I was younger but not as often anymore now that I am getting older. WHY? I don't want to lose this because it is apart of who I am. I would not feel like me without it but it kind of scares me at the same time.

People seem to just be able to talk to me and tell me their problems with no problem at all, like if I'm a therapist. I cry for the world and am very saddened by what we have done and what we do to each other. Sometimes I feel like I am here to listen and take burden off other people. I also try to live my life right and having this ability is very lonely, cause there is so much bad in the world, I feel like I am the wrong one sometimes, but deep down I know I'm not. I wonder if there are other people out there like me. Sometimes I can't wait to go home... Home being not in the human form... Spiritual being... Sometimes I can't wait to shed my human form...

I haven't told many people of these things cause they will think I am crazy. So I am assuming I have some abilities or maybe I am just crazy, what I don't know? Can anyone fill me in on it? I don't know anyone who has this that I can talk to about it. I tried to mention stuff like the smells/breathing to my mother a few times to see if she would say anything about it but she would always say "no I don't smell/hear anything", so I don't think she has it or she just don't want anything to do with it...

Right now I am going through an abusive relationship trying to get out and I felt like I was dead inside for quite some time, until a few months ago, thanks to a friend from back in school who helped me snap out of it... Did I lose my spirituality or was it depression? I believe I lost myself/he stole my spirit. A few months before that, I went to a psychic and she told me I am a very spiritual person with a white light around me and spiritual people are physic, she told me I would have to find my spirituality, was that what she was talking about? I am assuming so. How do I find my spirituality? How do I find out what my psychic ability is or what its called? Is there a name for it? I didn't have to find it before, it was just there.

Has anyone had this experience? A weird feeling when I first wake in the morning sometimes and doesn't happen every morning and its only in the morning (I don't know if its because of the situation I am in or if it is a physic thing?) (it only last a few seconds and its gone) after I get up the only thing that I remember is a weird pulling feeling which I'm not sure but might be described as hurtful lonely (I don't know its hard to pinpoint) but I feel like I am coming back to reality, like I have been somewhere (but don't ever remember where but feels like calm, peaceful, relaxing, where I want to be forever) and when I wake I feel like why do I have to come back, and I get an ugly weird lonely hurtful feeling like I'm being torn from something and coming back or being forced back to waken... Is it depression, loneliness, physic thing? I really hate this feeling... I have had this feeling before a long time ago, and haven't had it until recently. Sometimes I don't look forward to going to bed because I might wake up with the feeling...

I also have another concern, my son, he like me has slight case ocd, sensory and texture issues. Does this play apart in psychic abilities? I was also wondering if he might have abilities, is it genetic? He is 5 but he acts like he is 30 and he comes off with some stuff you wonder where he gets it... Also when I ask him where he got that from or where or who told him, he says I just know mom, I just know!

Well, that is all for now I guess, if you have anything to help or suggest it would be greatly appreciated.


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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Libra, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (131 posts)
9 years ago (2015-01-24)
Don't meditate, Jesus and the apostles never did... It opens you up to all the floatsam and jetsam spirits of the universe, it is dangerous! BEWARE! If you want to contact the divine, PRAY, with humility, like a child! Jesus never meditated, He PRAYED and fasted. Prayer is safer and more powerful than meditation, because you know to what spirit you're opening up to, Jesus, Mary, a saint, an angel... That way you are Protected! Pour out your heart by reading the psalms, demons tremble when we read them, with humility!... And don't go contacting unspecified 'spirit guides' through mediums, by paying thousands of your dollars! Go to church, it's free! Timfaraos [at]
Libra1 (1 stories) (35 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-20)
I have had similar experiences all my life, I am now 48. My first was the day I was born, I remember just before I entered into my body, I also remember someone from the other side giving me last minute advice, I don't know what was said, I do remember being so excited to start my new life. When I was about 2yrs old, my Father was telling me he remembered the day I was born, I said, me to, I remember you were waving to me from the little window in the door. He asked my Mother if she ever told me that, she said "No" Then my Mother told me never to repeat anything like that, people would think I was crazy. That always stuck in my mind. I have had too many experiences to count, everything from visits from people, visions, voice, touch, ect. My little girl that is 3 1/2 now, I use to see her in my dreams for a few years, now I see that it was her. I don't talk about any of my experiences because I don't want anyone thinking I am crazy, I am very sane, my husband and I have a business that we run together, he is the only one I ever tell when I have a vision, or hear a voice, ect... I even help him make tough decisions with my intuition. He was a huge skeptic when I met him 24yrs ago, he now believes. I came to this site to try and find someone with similar experiences, I guess I did! I think it's a blessing, it makes you know that there really is more than just this human existance. As far as that abusive relationship, please get away from them! No one has any right to treat anyone bad! I have also been in a abusive relationship over 28yrs ago, he stole my son also. That is a another story that I dont' discuss. As far as forgiving them, I thought I had- until I saw him a few years ago, all the bad memories came back and bothered me for weeks! As far as your dreams, I believe that we accually experience what goes on in our dreams. Whether it helps us here or not I don't know, but I feel that when we sleep, we leave this realm and work out conflicks in other areas of our existance. I also believe that we can meet with people or pets that passed, they can comfort us by being with us. I wish I had more time to write, my little one is distracting me. Hope this post helps in some way. ❤
Sparrowhawk (1 stories) (4 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-16)

Psychic events come from the third chakra, below the heart; they are subjective though often correct. Intuition comes from the Higher centers, 3rd eye/pineal, and is mysteriously simple yet always right. If you focus on Psychic events, you get psychic events, polarities and sometimes disturbing events. If you focus on the Divine in you, Intuition will be found, and it is profound!

But your energy needs to cross a bridge to get into the higher centers. The "Heart center" is the bridge! Your choices to harbor forgiveness or hate are your footsteps across the bridge or your leg shackles holding you in place. Leave the abusive relationship... Do not worry or think about it, just get up and GO!
Then search your heart and find forgiveness after you have gone. You will then cross the bridge and the pain will be wiped away.

Then it is time to focus on your Divine connections while not repressing the shadow which is in all. This will take time and great effort to understand, but you need it and so does your son. Each choice along the way is for you to make, persist and you will find your answers, but keep persisting until you find them.

Man and His Symbols by Carl Jung; is a great starting point!
GoldenGate (22 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-16)
You would better find a better and healing relationship with others but you should have the right orientation towards yourself first. Like you don't feel like crazy anymore. People who comment on your experience might not understand you and could even disorient your mind. It is better to find wisdom on some good articles or writing by some wise people who dedicate themselves on helping others with problems such as you and others. Remember that you never alone. Each step that you take has been taken by others (maybe) and each path that you take will help others that follow your track. You are the light unto others. 😊
AnaRustenholtz (1 stories) (1 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-14)
I don't know if my experience could help you, but when I needed help and guidance I read the bible: Psalms to be exact. I know it sounds way too simple to actually work, but it did for me.

When you read Psalms, read the whole thing through. When you get to parts you can relate to, read those words with your whole heart and soul. Read them as if your reading to someone, pleading to someone.

Possibly have a good cry while your doing it. That's what I did. XD And in return I got what I felt was a connection, or a visit, from him, an angel, or my guardian spirit.

You can try this an see if it works for you, but that's just me. Hopefully you can find your faith/light/spirituality.
Adaryn7 (23 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-14)

You sound like an extremely sensitive and empathic person. This is why people will come and talk to you, and it's wonderful that you have such a big heart. If you don't already meditate and shield yourself, I recommend it. Also, remember to take time out for yourself, too ^^

Everyone is psychic, just to varying degrees. Some dismiss their experiences as coincidences, but the fact is that we all have a "sixth sense".

I'm sure your abusive partner did not steal your soul, though you may have put a great deal of energy into him--energy that he obviously did not deserve and reciprocate, leaving you feeling empty and drained. I'm glad to hear that you are taking assertive steps towards getting your life back. As you rebuild your confidence and regain your sense of self, this feeling should go away. It is a problem when you allow the person that you're with to define you and/or give you that sense of self because if they leave, they leave you feeling as though they've taken everything with them. I know you've probably heard it before, but it's really important to learn to love yourself first. We attract what we put out, and those whom we attract treat us the way we feel we deserve to be treated, most of the time. If you love yourself, you are likely to attract more appropriate individuals, and if they leave, your self esteem remains intact.;)

As for the feeling of having traveled when you awake, some of us astral project in our sleep, only we don't remember the experience. Perhaps you have a sense of having traveled, even though you don't remember.

The longing/emptiness you feel seems to be a disconnection from your spiritual self--which is why the psychic told you that you need to find it! You are comfortable and in touch with the fact that you are a spiritual being, even to the extent where you feel a yearning to leave your body and become one with the Divine. It seems to me that you feel disconnected from the Divine Source. We all relate to God/The Universe in different ways, whether through religion or other spiritual practice--is this what you are missing? If that's that case, go towards what you feel drawn to. And meditate--definitely meditate. This will help you get in touch with your spirituality and the Divine Source. Also, if you are a Libra, air signs tend to be very intellectual, but less grounded than the other signs. Signs like Libra can see many options, but often have difficulty making decisions and end up floating through life, drifting from one thing to the next--you are very spiritual, but you are also a litle lost and need to find your feet here on solid earth ground, too ^^

I sincerely hope this helps you, Libra: peace and blessings to you on your journey

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