I was brought up in a world that had no religion or any kind of spirituality. I just celebrated 19 years of recovery from drugs and Alcohol. Which I believe closed all the doors for any spirituality or religious awareness or growth. About 20 years ago after I received my 4th D.W.I. I was very devastated with life, I just had enough! So as I was thinking once again about ending my life. The first time was with a 38 revolver and one bullet in the chamber. I didn't see it then but I see it all now, thoughts of pills, alcohol abuse, running into a parked or abandoned car on the freeway.
Then it came one night the thought of a 20 gauge shotgun to my head that would do it. Now I come with a lot of baggage and a military training background that would scare you to death with some of the things I had to be trained for. U.S.M.C. Oh Raah! That night, in a book called Power For Living which a christian landlord gave me a year before, it had a paragraph in there, now I never looked in this book until that night, it said a prayer like this:
"My Creator I have been living my life, my way, I ask that you take my life and do with it what you will."
And that is when it happened. I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters and at that time my mother and father were still alive. All 8 of them came in a slight vision in the outer room of this wretched apartment I was living in at the time. After this, I begin to look around the room behind me and started to think. Who will clean up my mess. Now I don't know what suicidal people think of at this time, but it wasn't what I wanted in my head.
I somehow made it through this night and the next morning I walked out of this apartment and nature unfolded before me. I became more aware of things I never have seen before. Then I found God through my landlord who introduced me to my wife of 18 years and 7 months. I had to go deeper on this spiritual journey which today involves the Holy Trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In a world so confused with this christianity and religion. I am glad I found my savior and Lord Jesus Christ and I am able to walk in His Spirit today. Christian science? Mohamed? Buddha? Agnostics? Atheist? And all those SEEKING, I have no problem with, but to them all I stand on the living word of God (BIBLE) and I am sure glad that God picked my Soul to carry His message. Our Father in Heaven Hallowed be Thy Name. And please deliver us from The evil one (devil) Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
Thank you for allowing me to share just a little of my life with you all. Jesus loves me this, I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones here below, they are weak but he is strong. Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so. You want peace joy love and understanding, do what I did, trust God and He will show you things you never before thought of.
At age 27, He restored me to sanity I am now 46 years old and He continues to use me to help others.
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