To say that my perspective has changed in the past 6+ years about whether God/Divine/I AM's presence can truly be felt in my life would be an understatement! I've always felt there was 'God', but never considered actually feeling and experiencing Divine in my daily life. (I never expected to experience angels or ghosts either...) Well, maybe for me it is one of those things I needed to experience to understand and believe-because over these past years that just what has happened.
Ten years ago I was busy with my small children, working, and in off hours my husband held his band practice in our home, so there was always people in and out of our house, life was hectic and normal. Then my Grandma passed in '01, and that was very difficult for me, but our lives where so full that I grieved in spurts when there was a rare quiet time. I knew she was in a peaceful place, and knew she loved Jesus very much-she was a dedicated Christian for the last 45 years of her life. But, I still didn't 'feel' particularly spiritual myself-as in wanting to attend church or pray much, if at all.
Though it may sound unexciting, my consciousness became aware of Divine slowly over the time from then until now, and seems to become more and more so-so much so that I notice in the past 3 months I have seen a huge shift in my awareness of the reality of Divine... Dare I say I've become a mystic in my living within this reality pretty much constantly now? I see God in the children's smiles as they giggle and skip to class in the mornings. I notice Jesus' compassion when someone holds the post office door open for another politely; no matter what their age. I feel angels rushing toward a siren of an ambulance when I hear one going past on the hwy near our home.
Oh, those things may seem minute; but they stand out sharply to me all day long. I find I'm talking with Divine a lot during the day these days. Yes, I've had some whopper visions, and seeing Jesus or an angel will definitely make you consider things in the Universe; but I realize the day to day things, no matter how small are the makings of life... Those little things we overlook sometimes-such as showing your child the hummingbird that is suddenly staying right in front of your living room window for hours. Though you haven't had hummingbirds in the past at this time of year, ever. And how it just keeps flying, seeming like it wants you to see it. So easy to not notice; dishes need doing-bills need paying, but that 10 minutes it takes to notice, and be within the experience and even share-I'm realizing are as profound as vivid, pulse raising sudden 'out-of-bodies' or a visitation from a sword wielding 9 ft tall angel.
We all have our unique spiritual sojourns to make in this life, and each is as relevant and special and trans-formative in its own way. Its hard to pinpoint just 'when' I realized Divine was a very real part of my reality in my life-I suppose a year or two after Gramma past. But God's Presence has continued to grow with me, and it is an amazing adventure that hasn't been easy (by any means); but one I wouldn't trade or change if given a choice