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My Grandma's Death


My Grandma was a phenomenal woman, not only was she incredibly and deeply religious (Catholic), but she incorporated Jesus' teachings into her everyday life by being charitable, forgiving, giving and humble. She was a light for everyone around her, with her kindness showing by her sheer popularity with the community around her.

Unfortunately my Grandma was a diabetes sufferer from the age of 16, with numerous other illness erecting as a cause of it (heart, kidney and liver problems). My Grandma lived with us at home, she looked after me and my brothers 24/7 and in my eyes, she was more of a mother figure than anything else, and I don't think it was possible for anyone or anything to love us more than she did.

Fast track to the year 2000, I was 10 years old, and it was 4 days after my birthday, and my grandma was in a 24 hour care nursing hospital where they could monitor her as she was getting more ill. It was early in the morning and I was getting ready for school, when our house got a phone call from a big public hospital stating that she suffered another heart attack and was in the ICU.

Our whole family rushed to the hospital, where 50+ people made up of family and friends had gathered to see what would be her final hours of life.

As I walked into the room, the doctors had turned off the heart monitor as to decrease stress, and the whole room was silent with my grandma lying lifeless on the bed.

I don't know where she gathered her strength from but she rose up from her bed and managed to give me and my two brothers very long lasting and strong hugs, what would be our last one.

I stood on the left side of the bed, with my hand under hers massaging her neck because she was in a lot of pain.

There were many times when we nearly lost her in that room, times where he eyes would open up so wide and her breath would get very short.

As I was by HER right side, I remember holding her hand and gazing into her face, the whole room was full of tears and sadness, and as she took another breath, I gazed into her eyes to see, what feels like a dream now, a silhouette of Jesus standing in the most magnificent white light, it felt like an apparition. I remember believing that my eyes were deceiving me, I mean, how could there be that light in her eyes? And how come no one else is reacting except me?! I remember looking up into the corner of the room to see if perhaps the tv was on, maybe reflecting in her eyes or if perhaps there was someone physically causing a reflection in the crowded room.

But. Nothing. There was nothing causing it.

I glanced again, and the figure had his arms outstretched (like a jesus figure) and the light looked warm and welcoming.

It was then that my 10 year old self (I'm now 18) ran out of the room screaming in terror, to be met by my very concerned dad, of whom I told what had happened.

My grandma died shortly after, and it's something that has always stuck with me. I doubt the event all the time because the whole day was so traumatic and felt like a dream.

However, its also something that I hold onto every time I doubt religion or the place of god in our world where corruption and evils against humanity occur everyday.

I was just hoping that maybe someone else has experienced something like this?

I don't come from a very overly religious family, and I'm someone who looks at all religions (judaism, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism etc) with a very open mind.

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Anonymous, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Michelle (guest)
12 years ago (2008-12-16)
I agree. I'm definitely crying. My Grandmother was an extremely religious, also Catholic woman who lived a great life. She had the most horrible, drawn out death I could ever imagine. She was dying for over 6 months. That has been the hardest time in my entire life. After that, my faith declined. I have switched religions very often ever since then. I envy you because if I had a sign from something higher [I am a Buddhist, but I believe in a higher power] then I may not have lost my faith. But thank you so much for sharing your story and I am sorry for your loss.
Kara K (guest)
12 years ago (2008-12-03)
Hey sara, I'm writting this in tears because it hit so close to home. My grandma's funeral was yesterday and I just couldn't believe how inviting the title of your story was. So I'm very glad I read this. My grandma was just like yours, loving and cared more about others than herself. She worked her entire life to bring 'lost souls' to Christ and did this only because she wanted to see us all in heaven someday. She always reminded me that the terrible things that happen to humanity are often times CAUSED by humans. She also reminded me that all the Lord wants is a relatioship with us. Because of what you saw I do believe that your grandma must have been a believer. She is in good hands and just like my grandmother, wants to see the best come from you! I'm 21 and still have plenty to learn, but form her passing I have realized the truth that she spoke-about God and all. I REally believe that now. She was like a mother to me, but during her funeral I just couldn't cry, it was like my grief was overcome by my joy in knowing that god's arms had stretched out towards her. I wrote a poem and ill leave a bit. It reminds me of what you said in your story: (this is only snippets of my poem, not the whole thing)

I saw your flame go out as the fire hit the horizon.
So blinding in the distance I knew I saw the sun.
I could see you there with his folded hands behind you.
The stinging woke me up as you passed through.

I miss you more than you'll ever know,
How long will we have to suffer?
I gotta see that your light will glow.
It keeps me wishing we were together.

It's all in my father's hands,
The ones that where folded behind you.
The ground gets colder but the heavens have plans,
To open its arms and find you.

And he tells me about how he loves you,
No matter what life you had.
He shows me a memory when I miss you,
Especially when I'm sad.
And tells me that I never had to fear
And I can't help but smile.
I can see that he wants me here,
Only for a while.
sheila_verily (1 stories) (5 posts)
12 years ago (2008-12-03)
Dear Sara,
I think it is special that you have written so honestly and lovingly about your intriguing experience. Like you I wasn't raised with religion, however I can honestly tell you I have seen Jesus and more than once, and in my experience there is nothing more humbling than that. There is no mistaking him. It is always a surprise to me, and it is a preciously beautiful and sacred Blessing.
May I share my impression with you? You were holding your grandmother's hand and I think there is every possibility that you were sharing in the beginning of her experience crossing over into the world of spirit. Your childhood innocence and your bond to this special lady enabled you for a moment to peek behind 'the veil'.
One of the best movies I have ever seen for my taste was one I watched this Fall called Faustina starring Dorota Segda. It is about a Polish Catholic sister who was such a pure channel that she could see what others could not. She lived a very holy life. Others didn't believe her when she told of her experiences, but years later and in part on account of her writings [book: Divine Mercy] she became Sainted. I am not Catholic, but this movie is exquisitely done.
Thank you for sharing your story Sara.
vagabondfaith (49 stories) (90 posts)
12 years ago (2008-11-21)
wow! That was beautiful. I was gripped and read it from beginning to end. The Mystical Spiritual World is actually the real world and is where we will live for eternity. I am seventy years old tomorrow the 22nd of November and I am learning fast the truth of that statement that I just made. We are all wired by God to only be able to find true and lasting happiness when we put Him in first place and bring Him in to our lives. Money Fame and Power are good for kicks but quickly wear off. Your Grandmother knew the secret and she found it by applying her Catholic Faith to everyday circumstances. That is why she was so popular and happy and had so many admirers in the community.
If you would like to learn more there is a free Satellite Channel called E.W.T.N. Which broadcasts 24/7 the most awesome programmes Worldwide. You could also read my blogs on this website.
Michael (Vagabondfaith)

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