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The Bathroom Light


My name is John and I grew up on my grandfathers farm in North Carolina. My family believes in the Christ and taught me so as well. Don't let that deter you from continuing to read. Even with that belief I was a drug addict by 12 and wishing for an end by 14.

A close friend of mine at 14 years old shot himself in the chest with a 410 shotgun. He was pronounced dead on the scene. I stopped by with a friend but was asked to leave, due to the amount of people there. I know now it was because I had been drinking. I went home and told my family and we all were hurt and shocked, but I was selfish and wished it had been me instead. All those people who came after he died, maybe I could have that, too. WOW! I was jealous over a friends suicide.

I came into my room, closed the door as always because my mom left the bathroom light on everynight, and it shined on the hallway wall in front of my door. I went to sleep crying that night and prayed to God to take me because I couldn't do it myself. I remember crying until I fell asleep sometime later. About 12 midnight that is.

Sometime after 3 a.m. I woke up crying saying, I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Three times I said this to myself. I looked over and saw my door was open, and just inside my door was a figure that was about 7 ft. Tall. I know this because it reached our 7 ft. Ceiling. It was blacker than anything I have ever seen or imagined. It fit the grim reaper description, but that name sounds like a joke for this. Like calling Hitler, Mickey Mouse. I said to It in my loudest voice (a wisper), I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Three times again. It had started coming towards me as I said this, and I could feel something like excitment from It due to my fear. It was now 2 ft. Inside my small room, and 3 ft. From me and I could see it in the darkness of my room clearly. It was 10 times darker than anything else around. This is it's description: Around 7 feet tall, 3.5 feet wide. It was solid in form yet it seemed to be almost see through, but it wasn't because I couldn't see past It's darkness. It floated and walked at the same time. If it had a face, It had lost it to darkness long, long ago. I could see no hands or arms, but as It reached for me It's arms seemed to peel off it's sides like a butterflies wings. It wasn't wings, but I feel It had wings or did before. I could not breath, It had stolen my breath, or so it seemed.

All of a sudden it stopped, like it heard what was coming to my mind. I closed my eyes and said JESUS, I DON'T WANT TO DIE! My last hope, so I said it with all I had. It was still a wisper to reality, but probably boomed in Heaven. Right as I said this, I felt a warm flowing liquidy feeling roll over me like it was wet, but under my skin. It felt like blood. Comfort, and calmness swept over me and my whole room. Like the paneling on the wall could feel it. I knew before I opened my eyes what I would see. It was gone, just a pinch of black on the wall. The black on the wall that was dark as night, was now shining with the bathrooms light. I soon went back to sleep and slept comfortably.

I know now that all I had to say was Jesus. IT heard His name before I said it. That's why It stopped in It's tracks. But as they say, Hindsight is 20/20. I can't tell you what it was or It's name, the Collector maybe, but it was not there in my best intrest. That happened when I was 14, I am now 35 and that is the clearest memory I have. 21 years and It still has a clear picture in my head. To those who believe like me now, and to those who do not as I did before. Live gratefully, and give thanks for all you do in what you believe in and share with the world "YOUR BATHROOM LIGHT".

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, JohnDiabet, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

sg1717 (1 posts)
9 years ago (2015-02-11)
Hey John,

Thank you for being honest and vulnerable and sharing your story. It really REALLY hits home for me as I had almost the exact same experience at that time in my life too.

I grew up in a very non-religious Christian upbringing, as in go to church, pray before meals, and that was mainly it. But growing up I always had horrific nightmares-- it was a constant struggle for me, and my mom was always trying to teach me how to pray and what to say to "fight" against these feelings and dreams and when I woke up in the night to ground myself.

So Between 12-14 years old for me was a very very hard time for me. I had the closest friend I'd ever made move away very very quickly when I was 12 and I didn't know how to cope with losing someone so close to me being in my life and I became a very negative and upset young girl, and wore clothing and dressed in a way that looked like I hated life and was in pain, and eventually began cutting myself because of this inability to process what to do from there and within myself, and fitting in (as pretty much every other 12-14 year old feels).

Anyway, I listened to music that cultivated this sort of dark, depressed attitude, and though I could not STAND watching horror movies I found myself in social situations where I was trying to fit in and there would be horrific movies playing and I was too embarrassed to speak up and do something else, but I couldn't watch those things because I would have the most intense dark evil dreams that night and for the next few nights.

So a combination of cultivating negative feelings and attitudes towards life, listening to music that was geared towards things like suicide and ending life, and being exposed to seeing horrific movies, I had gotten myself into such a situation where when it was night time I was terrified and overtaken with fear from all these ideas in my mind.

But there was one particular night after feeling uncomfortable socially with some acquaintances, I went to bed, was laying there and felt or experienced or imagined, whatever you want to call it- this huge black dark figure that was as tall as my ceiling began crouching in the corner of my room and then slowly began approaching me, and it was the most terrifying, fearful thing I had every experienced, it was so dark-- in multiple aspects of the word, like you were describing, I felt absolutely paralyzed with fear, as though I could not move or do anything, and I think I did a combination of saying "Jesus" or "I'm protected by the blood of Jesus" and I somehow managed to get up, psyche myself up and turn on a light (which was right behind the figure). So I scrambled to turn on the light, and then proceeded to try to tape my eyelids open because I was afraid that when I closed my eyes I would see that figure again, and I wrote my fickle little boyfriend at the time the longest note ever written by any teenage girl, I think I wrote for 3 hours because this happened at about 3 AM (funny how so many people talk about that time, I've heard it's called the Witching Hour), and then it was finally starting to become light outside so I could sleep.

I have only told a few people that story; when I was 14-17 I was a "super" Christian and was heavily involved in Christian culture/youth groups, and so I viewed that as an evil or demonic spirit (I also have 1 other craaaaaazy freaking experience that happened to me of nothing else I can explain as a friend was unconscious and a demon was talking through her... Anyways) but I viewed it in that light, but then pulling away from church culture I tried to dismiss the experience on an intellectual level, but reading your story I was like "Ohhhhhhh crap. Guess not." Very very interesting. Thank you so much again for sharing though, that really helps me feel real and human. Cheers my friend!
bornlion (1 posts)
10 years ago (2014-01-29)
Hi, I just discovered this website and read your story. I feel compelled to share a similar story that happened around the time that I was ten years old. I am now almost twenty one. I grew up raised in a christian home as well and prayed a lot on my own when I was little.

When I was younger I sometimes had difficulty sleeping because my mind would race a lot. I was not scared of the dark or anything because I shared a room with my older brother, and his presence made me feel secure. Some nights I would just not feel tired and would let my mind race.

This was the case one night and around eleven p.m. I was growing extra restless. I for some reason started to feel very uneasy and felt an evil presence like heldhere described in his comment. I remember staring at my digital clock and all of a sudden everything went black. This is the hardest part to describe, as it is not like anything I have ever experienced. When everything went black it was like a portal of sorts where everything kind of just morphed into a black whirl. I remember a very odd feeling in my body as though I went numb. I was all of a sudden in a very strange dark place with dark figures that were moving around the ground. I remember I felt very scared and sad. I was moving though this cave like place and everywhere was cold and dark, the only light coming from an opening above. I tried to wake myself up like it was a bad dream but could not snap out of it like I usually could when having some sort of a nightmare. I then realized the only thing that I could do was to call out to Jesus and so I did. When I did this, a voice boomed out that I could not praise Jesus in this place. There was a lot of snickering from the dark figures scurrying all around. I just remember asking god to save me over and over and just trying to praise him. This worked and I went through the weird portal like black whirl and returned to my body, still staring at the clock like I had been when the experience started. It was past 3 a.m. Now, and It had only felt like 5 or so minutes had passed. I felt a lot more comforted when I snapped out of it, but I was still very startled at what had just happened because it had felt so real and emotional. I even immediately went and told my parents of the experience and they, being spiritual christians, were very startled as well.

Ever since then, I have not shared my experience with anyone except for my parents, who were quite concerned for a long while after it happened. I am glad I found this site so I can just get this story out of my system. It is a memory that has stuck in my mind for over ten years and I still remember it very well. I sometimes wonder if I made a brief trip to hell? It feels crazy saying that, but it was such an uncomfortable experience that it really disturbed me for a long time.

Since then I have had just a few other strange experiences. One coming about three years later. I was visiting my grandma's farm in the summer, and my brother and I were sleeping in her living room. There was a night light on, and I could not sleep, so I was just staring at objects around the room. I felt an odd sensation like when you feel a presence of something around you. All of a sudden everything started to fade away and I was surrounded by pure white light. I felt like I was being lifted up and I could no longer feel the couch underneath my body. Although I did not feel threatened, I felt scared because of the startling experience and tried to snap out of it, which was difficult because I could not feel anything physically, almost as though I was paralyzed. After a few more seconds I felt like I was lowered down and felt the couch underneath of me. Everything returned to normal. I did not have a clock so I didn't know what time it was, but I don't think It lasted very long because it was still early in the night when I came out of it. I told my parents the next morning, but never anyone else.

Reading through these stories, they seem so ridiculous even to me, but I just need to share them. I do believe that there is a spiritual world and that sometimes living people may enter it and come back, or witness something spiritual on the earth. I am not sure why I had these experiences, but they are very clear memories that I still remember very vividly.

All that I know is that I called out to god during my first experience and some force took care of me and I was removed from the dark place.
heldhere (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-08-26)
Hello John, I experienced something somewhat similar... I was alone watching a tv show and all of a sudden I felt a very evil presence beside me... It felt like it was going to take over me... I was scared... And even though I am not religious, I was brought up Christian... And because of this I remembered what I had heard as a child and teenager..."get out in the name of Jesus" I said this out loud... And the evil presence vanished. This was a real surprise to me, because I always thought that what the Christians taught me was a bunch of "hokey b.s." Now I know that it is not.

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