I am male. I have been trying to get answers to over a million spiritual experiences I have had from childhood, it took another turn about 7 years ago AND as I grow my experiences become intense. I am almost still very confused about it all, however almost 20 pastors in all have confronted, prophesied and warned me about God wanting to use me.
I am not the type that likes to go to church always but in my heart from early age, I have always fear God so much that it is very difficult for me to do anything bad/evil in secret, I also have always told people to love one another and not destroy the good of another.
Almost everybody's pain seem to be mine- if anyone falls, I feel it in me. When I watch films on TV tears drop down my eyes without me able to control it during emotional scenes like agony, poverty, pain etc. I pity and help people when its not my business or concern. My being honest to a fault has in the past brought calamity and poverty to me but I am beginning to be rich even without working for money.
I am a Christian from a Christian home too. My grandfather is a pastor and my father is a pastor as well.
I was earlier in a forum where they were talking about astral travel, in the end I discovered that they were not directing anything to Jesus Christ so I stopped. This site seem to be better because I have seen stories about Christ which is virtually my total experience.
I would like someone to please explain some things to me, someone who must have experienced what I have.
MY EXPERIENCES IN A NUTSHELL:
I had a vision about the second coming of Christ where the world was destroyed by fire, sky turned red with fire and great smoke- I saw a warship in the sky that seem not to have an end. The earth was flat- no cars no houses such that not a stone was on top each other as I was later shown in the bible that Jesus said. It started with me getting up from a grave then I began to see many pastors and people (black/white) they have healed. Girls and men in club took off their shoes and ran for their lives. Fire killed everyone at my back and front, when it was clear that I would die, I knelt down and began to say "God forgive of my sins- have mercy upon me for I have sin against you". This was repeated several times with tears (cry) in my eyes. I kept begging seriously, the begging was so serious because I was going to die but instead I woke up. However, what actually prompted me to kneel down and beg seriously for forgiveness in the vision was when I looked up and saw men in white horses appearing from nowhere in the sky to form a round circle for someone who was to appear in the middle like a king but before he appeared, I found myself saying "so it is true - the second coming of Christ" then out of great fear I stopped looking and felt on my kneels to ask for forgiveness.
Three days after that dream, I saw myself bathing naked in front of a church, people were passing by on the street and wondering if I have gone mad. After that day I began to see things. A door appeared to me in a trance and stayed for about 5 minutes or so, it appears like olden days door made of mud. It was simply an entrance one can pass through but like very old mud house front entrance. I asked pastors what it means but no one could give me answer. One year later, after I attended a night crusade of redeem church I bought a calendar from one of the women selling Christian books. The calendar was about 100 names of God. I hanged it in my room when I got home, few days later I was sitting down when my eyes just sighted one of the 100 names of God listed in the calendar- the name was "The door". Then the memories of the door that appeared a year ago came back to me then my inner said that is the answer. I jumped up and ran out surprised, saying to myself "so the door I saw was Jesus" because he called himself 'the door'. I became disappointed that the pastors could not give answers.
From then on, I began to see spirits. Evil spirits, evil creatures- things that have human faces but body of beasts like dogs and lion, witches, big size human about three times wider/taller than we on earth, occult people having meeting, astral travel I have been experiencing from birth took another turn and become intense and almost daily. But I see myself fighting these spirits, they are always after human on earth while something reveals them to me to fight them.
BUT there was something else- The name "Jesus" was always being used to fight these spirits and creatures by me without knowing it. It is as if someone else suddenly came inside me and began to act as he wants while my physical body would just watch and respond. It appears as if I am two different persons. When am sleeping, a spirit or so inside me will suddenly wake up and drift me into trance then I will begin to see spirits, fighting them by saying "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus". It happens mostly when someone sleeps by my side or when I sleep in people's home. Something takes me to midst of evil gathering and spirits. I hear and see them but in most cases they can not see me but can feel my presence sometimes.
My astral travel is another thing entirely very different from what I have seen people experience. In my astral travel which I prefer to call spiritual travel, I am usually 100% conscious that my body is somewhere sleeping. I go up and down to people houses to heal them of their sicknesses by saying "God has sent me to heal you or heal someone here". I even tell them "do not be afraid- I am here in form of a spirit- God has sent me to heal you of your ailment".
Even today, September 29, 2010 my spirit got out of my body to pray for a friend of mine in London, UK. I even told him that God has sent me to pray for him but somehow his friend who was present distracted the prayer and my spirit returned back to my body.
People see me in their dreams praying for them and casting out spirits that come to sleep with them at night. If anyone sleeps in my home just because he or she could not go home that late, the person must surely have a dream about fighting someone who has been a barrier to their life or delivered from some kind of sickness or dream about me or dream about me building a church or becoming a great man of God and so on.
All these I really still do not understand. But I have started going to church and from nowhere something has began to direct my behaviors like jealousy, hatred, backstabbing etc to good behavior and love for all man kind to the extend that I have began to tell people to practice what I call "the tradition of Christ" without knowing it. Pastors see me and say there is something very great inside me that my heart is as pure as snow and God want to use me to raise the dead, heal the sick, open blind eyes and I will be known by all nations of the world.
My problem remains that I do not understand any of these things I experience. As a matter of fact, I am not interested in what pastors tell me- now they say God is saying He has become impatient and I am being stubborn. I have a very funny computer knowledge such that I am able to build web sites, invent and create ideas, do web mastering without any previous tutorials from anyone or any school. People end up calling me a witch, they wonder how I learn things without being taught. I did not attend university but I found myself gaining knowledge and becoming versatile without learning.
My experiences are endless, I also hear a voice that sounds like thunder in trance- men that appear to be prophet kneel and hear the voice. After the voice has given a message, the men would say "we are grateful for hearing this message in Jesus name" then my spirit will come back to my body. This usually happen when am just sitting on my bed not sleeping, something like a mighty breeze would come and drift me into spiritual realm. It is usually very frightening to me but I have learned to let it go by weakening my physical body until m spirits separate from it.
Sometimes when I am in my room, a sound like roaring breeze would come and weaken me until my spirit separates from my body then drift me into spiritual realm, at this time I will begin to hear voice of someone I know who is very distant from me. It is usually a pastor or a servant of God- while am listening something will begin to minister to me saying this servant of God is either fake or real.
I NEED TO STOP HERE.
PLEASE IS THERE ANYONE WHO UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS, I AM VERY VERY WORRIED NOW BECAUSE PASTORS ARE TELLING ME TO GO AND FAST FOR MAYBE 40DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS, THAT GOD WANTS ME TO WORK FOR HIM AS A PROPHET AND HEALER. I AM REALLY SCARED AND I LOVE MY PRIVACY.
MY QUESTION IS: IS IT COMPULSORY THAT I BECOME A PROPHET OR SERVANT OF GOD, CAN'T I CONTINUE TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE NORMAL PERSON? WILL GOD PUNISH ME IF I CONTINUE TO LIVE LIKE EVERYBODY INSTEAD OF TAKING STEPS TO BECOME A PROPHET OR PASTOR?
Thank you for listening,