I had a bout with spiritual warfare and it stressed me out for a long time. I even said it was too much for me to handle and tried to come up with other "half-way logical" explanations for them because everyone kept telling me I was crazy & you start to believe it. I had to hold on to what couldn't be explained (I have an old jewelry box that I had never heard that started playing, so I played it in the aftermath of everything). Now I'm extremely grateful & amazed! I always wanted a relationship with my dad, despite all that I heard about him. I had always thought my step mom just wanted him for his money, etc. I was just too stubborn to ask or call... I was living in a place where I shouldn't have been, a job, etc. EVERYTHING changed in 1 day; my entire life. My boyfriends wife called (I was there for him while he was "going thru" the trial), I lost my job, I learned the people in my life weren't "true". It was literally 1 day that my whole world was transformed and the world opened up.
I was driving and the cars kept changing lanes, I saw blinkers and I was supposed to follow everything. Finally there were blinkers everywhere and I didn't know which to follow anymore and I broke down. God said something along the lines for me to stop looking left and right and trying to figure everything out on my own. He told me that He was in control and He would put me where I was supposed to be. I had the "good" and "bad" voices, the spiritual realm opened up. I was balling and saw a big STOP sign and I got off the freeway. Every false promise that could be told to me was said... I could hear Jesus next to me, sad, telling me he was sorry that I had to go through this.
When I pulled over I was brainwashed. I had to forget who I was, went through this over & over. "Just go with it, you'll get through it a lot faster". The radio was playing and I was shown how everything was being controlled by unseen forces. When I finally went along is when the ambulance showed up. I told them I didn't know who I was because I had to. I ended up in the hospital and eventually my family got there. I had voices telling me what to say, that they weren't who I thought they were. I was told to get up, sit down until they could finally take me away. I saw my sister in tears crying and it was hard for me, but I was told that if I didn't go along, she would end up "missing". It broke my heart & I ended up in a mental hospital.
I was shown how dangerous my boyfriend was, I was working an event at Playboy Mansion at the time and how much trouble I would've gotten myself in to. I saw the clock stop and as that happened I was shown how God separated the waters and everything's just a facade. I had parts of the bible explained to me that I had never read. I also had the bad unfortunately and it was hard to decipher what was real & lies. God told me that he would separate the good from bad in my life and the people in it. (I've had a dream since telling me that me & my dad have supernatural protection). I saw people in the hospital that were there because they were suicidal and I tried to help one when an evil spirit said "don't you dare". It was like a boot camp in helping people. I was also told not to get too close to the fire and to let God take care of things.
I saw a girl (who in the physical realm was really pregnant and she was there because she kept trying to kill her baby) and I wandered to solitary confinement to see her having intercourse in the room, I just saw smoke and demons outside of it clapping. I got too close to the fire and I had to go back to my room. My legs were burning and I had them massaged from the "inside". I cried for her and I hurt for her and God said "I know, I'll take care of her". He basically told me it was His turn and to let Him take over. I just wanted to take away everyone's pain there. I had learned by then that once you say something, you release it, so when I came back to the physical realm I tried to get her to tell me who the father was. She wouldn't.
I had a patient crying and I held her hands and understood and she stopped crying. I had someone in the background smiling at me, letting me know that's what I was supposed to do. The patients got separated by the "good" and "bad" and I had held someone's hand who wasn't good and was told to "Back-off Ashley" (by the same person who smiled at me). I was shown who would win the presidential election which is another way I know I'm not crazy. (This was during the nominations for the Democratic/Republican parties, not the actual election & it was right).
I ended up fighting for my soul. I had lie after lie, I kept being told in the background "If its good it can't be bad" and I just kept screaming "My God Is An Awesome God" and songs so I couldn't hear the lies. I went into convulsions and everything was normal. I lived a lifetime in 1 day (even died and went through the trauma my family would feel while the demons were telling me why I should kill myself). I was confused when I came back, even more confused that no time had passed? God told me he would put me where I was supposed to be.
I ended up having to live with my dad and I built a really strong relationship with him & my step mom I learned that my life was a lie. They are AMAZING Christians. (My mom had told me he didn't want us, never paid child support and he kept proof of it all because she keeps taking him to court to try and get money.) I got a new job, was a Vice President (extremely stressful, but that's what I knew), now I do ebay & learned I don't need "things". I've learned to take care of myself. I see the world COMPLETELY different, material things don't mean anything to me anymore. There's a huge difference between instant fulfillment and gratification. My perspective changed 100% in 1 day. Nobody could figure out how I went "crazy" not even the doctors cause I was fine right away? Every test they ran were "normal"? I've had to live with the stigma of "going crazy" and that's okay because the people who are "true" don't judge me. God separated me, just as he said he would & He did it all.
When I was 15 I was a drug addict, angry at God for my life (I had burnt spoons around the house, different guys, started having sex when I was 12, abused, etc) I went to bed and Jesus told me He loved me. I had never felt love that pure & the next day I changed my life. I got off drugs, went back to school, it was eye-opening, don't I want to be more than where I came from?
I've had dreams of God telling me things and that I didn't have to be afraid. The next dream was the devil asking me what he said (God told me that the devil only knows what he sees and what we say, he doesn't know what's inside of us. He can't hear our thoughts like God can) & I told him I didn't have to tell him, I don't have to be afraid of him, so he tempted me with a weakness I had at the time to "show me". I get a lot of answers with my dreams, I've learned my dad does to. He's had companies and his "ideas" were from the dreams he's had. He's had visions too and I love hearing about them. He was in Vietnam and saw his platoon basically blow-up and has an imprint of an angel protecting him and around that his clothes were charcoaled. I didn't have rules growing up, I had no guidance. Without God I wouldn't be where I am. Every time I stole, I had it taken and then some away. I had VERY tough love from a Father I didn't visually see. I was always told to be careful what you pray for and I'm someone who questions everything. I was always taught right away, the hard way. I don't understand why he chose me, but I am AMAZED!
He told me that I would be with the person I am now (at the time I was like, eww! He was the LAST person I thought I'd be with, but I've since gotten to know "the real him"). The devil is messing with his head right now. (Right after I told him that he had a special calling & he doesn't want him to realize his worth). He's using him to get to me and I see what spiritual warfare he's going thru. The guilt for what he's done and how's he's treated me is confusing to him and so he's pushed me away. I don't blame him, there's forces behind it and I just pray that he'll come to understand and give his life to Christ completely. Poor guy doesn't know what he's going thru, won't pick up my phone calls, told me never to talk to him again & then doesn't understand why he says those things. If you read this, please pray for him, he has the greatest heart in the world. He's suffering by himself & he doesn't have to. I know God's taking care of it, it just hurts watching him go through it. Thanks!