Firstly let me apologies in advance for my grammar and spelling, English is not my first language. Something woke up inside of me during November 1998. It is an independent source of energy that breaths within me whenever my deeds or thoughts are "wrong" or when I pray or put my hands in the air.
I am acutely aware of how stupid/crazy that sounds.
From the time that this source became part of my daily life, I have also been confronted with every personal fear and inferiority within me with this source guiding my thoughts and deeds whenever I would allow it.
Furthermore, upon being "exposed" if you want, to myself, the process drove me to a cross roads where I had to choose to hand over the right to my life to this source or kill myself. I know that sounds a bit drastic, but I don't think anybody would believe me if I had to start telling them about the "spiritual warfare" that surrounded my every day. Everything from voices to dreams to strange people with weird approaches.
Any case, the closest I could find in christian literature to what I experience is what Christians call the holy spirit. I understand that Christ stated that He would not leave us orphaned, but send us a guide... Well if this is what I am experiencing, then the whole Christ thing is true and believe me, incredibly real.
I am not saying that all other forms of religion is wrong (etc). What I am saying is that if this is the Holy Spirit then I must tell you that God loves us very much. I am not a good man, and regardless of how I have tried to shrug off this gift it is always there the next day.
I have come to the roaring conclusion that if this is God, then He does love me unconditionally, and if he loves me this way, then I must tell you that chances are very good that He feels the same way about you and there is probably nothing you can do about it.
Am I nuts, or is there someone out there that sincerely has the same experience/gift?