This is my first year of college I just graduated from high school. Lots of homework and studying, and I have not attended church or read my bible here lately. I have just been the preoccupied student who will party on the weekends and study during my free time. I have put God on hold, and if what I have done is wrong and has invited demons to hurt me I don't know how I did it.
Last night I had a horrible dream, a man who seemed just as anyone else I would meet on the street was standing outside of a church that I had seemed to walk by a lot in my dream. He started to talk to me about my spirituality, and invited me into the chapel.
Well from there he lead me to a balcony and I sat down and he layed down on his stomach and we continued our conversation. He said something about the devil, and there something was wrong. His mouth disappeared and fangs appeared, claws replaced his fingers. He was trying to grab me and pull me to him, thus scratching my legs. I fell off the balcony screaming god help me. He answered me in my dreams I awoke on the floor with scratches on my legs where the man tried to pull me from. I opened my eyes to see a figure slither across my floor in the dark shadows.
I have awoken during the previous years to see a white figure standing in my room, and it never hurt me. I just figured God had sent me a guardian angel. Well that angel I thought I had seen when I was younger is gone now, I understand that angels and demons are constantly fighting for the good and the bad from what my pastor has said. Also that demons stray away when you pray under Jesus's name. I was saved along time ago when my parents got a divorce. Now I am beginning to believe that I have not put my problems in God's hands to carry, but when I go to the pray I don't leave them I pick them back up and carry them with me. I have subjected my various temptations of drinking as a minor and sex with my boyfriend and not acting how I am suppose too.
When I was in church I saw my angel when my room was pitch black no lights at all, but the slightest light I would miss it, that was the presence of God in my life. Here lately I haven't felt him there, and this is my fault. I know God loves me but straying away when I could have used him the most was my fault and I had to had a wake up call, and that must have been it. Or at least I think.