I have always been drawn to God since I was a little girl, even though the memories are scattered. I remember times when I spoke to my little brother Angel and older sister Angel I believed were my companions, and protected me. You see, I was born between to full-term stillbirths, we are all within a year apart with me being the middle.
In the winter of 2006, I heard a truck idling outside my home since my husband was a truck driver, I figured it was him arriving back from his usual trip. I was already just about to fall asleep after a long day working, taking care of kids, and attending college night school. I didn't hear my husband's usual greeting as I heard footsteps coming down the hall, so I froze in fear. A strange man entered my room and began to drag me from my bed, mumbling that I need to go out to the backyard with him right away.
As he dragged me, I saw he carried a knife in his hand. Unbelievably a sheet of calmness overcame me, and it was like I had stepped away from the woman that was being dragged and beaten and was looking upon her instead. I looked toward the rooms where both my daughter and son slept, they didn't awake with any of my cries for help. I yelled louder but they didn't wake-up. I begged the man to let me live, and to look at the picture I had in my living room of God. I asked him to please leave, and I would not call the cops, but would pray for his family instead.
At some point I think he realized he needed to leave my home right away. He had already assaulted and raped me by that point, but I sensed he wanted to also kill me. He was contemplating where since he knew my children were asleep in their rooms. I started to pray, and chant to God, to please save me. The Man ran from the room, and left out the back door. Before he left he told me not to call the police, because he knew where my kids went to school and would come back to kill them if I did. When he left I called my mother, and remember just crying on the phone when she answered, she and my father arrived at the house within 20 minutes and found me on the floor of my kitchen bleeding, and beaten.
After that incident, I went through a series of emotions, and had a lot of questions for God. Mainly "Why Me Lord?" After several months of healing, I never gave up praying. I remember finally after some time had passed, I was outside at my favorite spot listening under a tree with many leaves that hummed with the breeze. I heard him tell me "While you suffered, and was hurting. I protected your children, my angels caught your fall, and helped you to get up so that you could be a vessel for Me" The next day I couldn't stop thinking of what he told me, and the funny thing is I didn't know what a vessel was. I had to call my older sister and ask her. She is Christian and when she heard what I told her God said to me, she asked me to meet her right away and said it was glorious.
That was 3 years ago, today I am much stronger, and learning how to use my story to help other victims of violence overcome. I am still and always will be a student and learning new things about spirituality. Thank You for taking time to read my story, I hope you find some inspiration, from it. I walk in faith now, and realize my existence isn't for me, it is for God.