You are here: Real Spiritual Experiences :: Visions / Revelations :: The Matrix... What Is True Reality?

Real Spiritual Experiences

The Matrix... What Is True Reality?


I was hoping for some input since my mind has been extremely confused since the last experience I had. Its like everything I know has been shaken. Its a bit of a long story but I will try to keep it brief. Over the past 5 years of my life I have been learning to answer the call of a prophet on my life. I have been learning to follow god starting in the church then being discipled by men. Which led me into a place with god where I have learned to trust and fellowship with him and experience him in just about every moment.

I have spent the past five years of my life surrendering and giving up my life to revolve around walking in truth of the gospel of Christ and most importantly in his tangible presence, and it has connected me with a higher being which I have called the Jewish god Yahweh. In his presence is truth love peace and joy. He teaches me himself now and I walk with him to a point I really have no need for church unless I want to go to experience a greater amount of his presence. But to be honest with you I've found most churches don't have much to offer me. I am not trying to be proud and egotistical I'm just trying to paint a picture of where I am so that what I'm about to tell you, you will have a better understanding of where I am coming from.

Basically I have been a Christian who hates the term Christian because it identifies me with a culture more than a true reality. I have never been one for religion or holding onto a set doctrine of "this is the way it is". I am big on the belief that no man can hold the truth and we are to know nothing except what God is saying when he is saying how he is saying it. I have had many experiences with god that I have built my life and belief system around over the past few years in many ways shapes and forms, but never has my mind had an enlightening experience like the one I had last week. It shook my beliefs to the core and challenged everything I know to be real. Now its like starting all over again.

I have come seeking objective unbiased opinions concerning what is being revealed to me. Since I know most people are unwilling to let go of there beliefs in order to find truth. And most without even realizing it are only searching and studying in order to validate what they already believe or want to believe.

God has been revealing to me shortly before my experience some things I want to share, not to teach, but to give an idea where my mind was at when the experience took place. Things like christianity can only take you so far because its just a religion like anything else and it offers a certain amount of freedom to a point but is capped. Basically in order to move further I would have to remove my box of god. Basically it was all to cultivate faith. We can access the true existence of god by faith and Christianity gives you the faith to do it. And things like through the lenses of Christianity is how we interpret Jesus in the bible but that was never intended. Jesus preached on the kingdom of god, which by the way is anthropomorphic for our understanding. So as you see any box I had god in is starting to be removed.

While thinking about this one day I was asking god how yeshua or jesus fit into all this and he told me he used him to accomplish some things in the earth (because man has authority in this realm) and then he made him lord and master over all things. While my spirit was doing somersaults I began to think about beliefs and how what we believe creates our reality (actually makes things real to us.) Then I began think about how if I have had a bad experience in my life that formed a belief everybody was out to get me, then my reality would actually be everyone was out to get me. It would be truth to me and it would actually happen at least in my eyes. Then I opened up very objectively to think out side of the box. And this was my thought..."what if God is only real and my experiences with him are only real because I believe that it is?"

At this point my mind opened up in a way its never been, my brain was firing and it was like a trillion light bulbs were going off at the same time, everything began to make sense and nothing seemed real not the chair I was on not the sky not the trees... Nothing! I began to see flashes of light in the sky like camera flashes. It was like I was trapped in a bad dream but there seemed to be truth in it but I felt out of control and scared like everything I knew and every way I though something was wasn't real. My mind was on this journey of understanding that was saying there is an ultimate unexplainable essence of reality that just IS and I could never understand it. And me as human has the power to create any reality or world I wanted to with my beliefs and my mind being the tool to make it real. And that my subjective truth created reality and in my case that reality was that there was an absolute truth and god who is in control which is absolutely real but only because its a by product of my subjectivity.

Then I started to see "Oh my god I'M GOD" sound crazy right? Would make it sound like I'm in control but I'm not because my convictions from my beliefs creates a god who actually becomes in control, that would be enough to put me into balance with my destiny. In a sense it was like God is only created for mans understanding to tap into the true reality. God is an anthropomorphic term, Its like there is no god.

This is not a case of unbelief or doubt because I have had too many experiences with god to doubt him now, he has become a reality to me and I trust him. But my experience tells me this is only true and god is only real because I created him that way. The best way I can explain it is like Neo in the movie the matrix. When they pulled him out of the matrix for the first time he couldn't handle it and he started puking. That's how I felt so scared and sick and confused like a bad trip on acid. The best explanation I could come up with is that I got a gimps of reality that was so awesome and so radically different and so foreign from god or what I thought he was, it caused me to say there is no god. And therefore my reality of god was fabricated by beliefs that were semi-truth and the reality I glimpsed was so foreign I did not recognize it as god. Another words, the god I knew doesn't exist but is only a manifestation of my beliefs that enabled me to have enough faith to experience the true essence but having it leavened with my own disillusions. Not recognizing the true god but responding with there is no god!

Any insight on this will be appreciated. And there's more ways I could explain this but I will leave that for discussions. And like I said this is very brief so if you have any questions please ask I will be glad to answer them. I just ask that I please don't get any doctrine on this matter just objective thinkers or hearers. I don't believe if one truly wants the truth he can be deceived. I don't know if god was trying to reveal truth to me and my interpretation is off or what. All I know is this experience has shaken my mind to the point that my connection to the god has been suffering. Its like I'm starting all over again!

Inspiring stories with similar titles

Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Morton, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (131 posts)
8 years ago (2015-01-24)
God created you. You can never be God! Satan wanted to be God, and look at him now! Adam and Eve wanted to be God, and look what happened to them! Hitler wanted to be God, where is he now? Guru Sai Baba said he was God, and look what happened to him, (see webpage: 'guru sai baba exposed'). Many people in insane asylums think they are Jesus... The communists in Russia persecuted God and christians, thinking they could build a brave new world without God, that cost Russia the lives of 60million of its children! This is the sin of PRIDE!...which STINKS in the eyes of God! 'woe unto you, scribes and pharisees, you hypocrites!' said Jesus... But to the repentant theif, He said: 'Today, you will be with Me in paradise!'. Brothers let's read the bible and understand it, and pray and fast with HUMILITY AND LOVE! Amen. Hallelujah! Timfaraos [at]
Dwarrior44 (1 stories) (2 posts)
12 years ago (2011-01-16)
Fantastic! I too have had the name Yahweh come to me. I too was raised Christian, and I too have had revelations and visions which disproved everything I once thought. Try to think of your experiences as a ladder. To walk with god is one rung. To know god is another rung. To know you are god, yet another. To experience the lose of belief in god, the next. Grasping and awaking to this greater understanding of spirituality even further up. The process does not stop in just one lifetime. To limit your perspective now with terms such as God do you no justice. You have witnessed a bigger picture and understand that you are both more important and less than you once thought. Remember the simple idea from the dopey movie " Dogma" to believe in something can crush you if your wrong. While having faith can only lift you up. Faith is one of your previous god's greatest lessons. Faith that the greater good, or highest power or divine intelligence universal will (whatever you decide to call it now) will always provide the lessons we need to continue to grow. You are part of a larger universal view and you will find that your thoughts will more quickly affect your life. Your spiritual experiances will become more frequent and your physical desires should become easier to squash. You have had what sounds like a Knudalinni experience. If you were to look into Kundalinni (spelling probably wrong sorry) Yoga and the Serpent of Fire, I think you would be surprised to see how accurately you described the experience of yogi's who reach brief enlightenment. What happened was you did in fact receive all divine knowledge, or at least vast amounts more than you could process in your human state, at one time. Not being trained in the practices you were unable to comprehend much and eventually the system shut down. Most people travel up the ladder very slowly and steadily, some of us are simply catapulted to the top, have our mids and souls flooded, and then we get dropped back down to reality not fully aware of what has happed to us. The goal as I see it is not to try an attain that full voltage all at once but to learn to tune the beam to levels we can understand and grow gradually with. I believe that we have received tremendous gifts and as the world consciousness shifts we will become more and more important in the development of others. I also believe that we will more easily be able to access the information we have stored as the universe needs us to. I believe each religious deity is in fact a figure of one dimension or another and soon we will come closer to the true creators than we as humans ever have. I am excited for the future and have had other visions and experiences which point me in the direction of the conclusions.
James (10 stories) (151 posts)
12 years ago (2011-01-03)
Hello Morton

Wow, quite an experience!

Something to ponder for which I have only just come to understand this past year:

The God of the "old" does not exisit, never did but God of ALL exists...

God is ALL we see
God is ALL we don't see
God is EVERYTHING in between
God is __________ (fill in the blank for your experience of God)

May your path to the Father continue to lit be his glorious Light

James 😁
NaturalScience (3 stories) (110 posts)
12 years ago (2011-01-02)
Morton, don't fall for the idea that reality is only in the mind. It has been proven a fallacy by philosophers. The experience you made, that it is your mind that gives things names and a structure to your reality, i.e., that your mind makes the Matrix you live in, does not mean anything about Objectivity in general, or about the Real Existence of a Creator.

It only shows what Book of Genesis says: "God made Man as an Image of Himself" - see, the Creator makes the matrix of Universe with His mega-mind, and analogously Man makes a matrix of his part of the world, an image of the world, and also of God who is part of the human world, by his mortal little mind.

Yahveh Zebaoth showed by that experience that it is just YOUR matrix, and that HIS matrix is much greater, so great that our human mind structures can not depict it, or even make correct words for it, so great that even the much-abused word GOD loses its splendour when one has got in touch with what is "meant" with that name!

But the experience means NOT that you now can make the world as you please just by changing your thought patterns.
This idea has been followed, with uttermost toil and devotion, by many sincere souls; but they all failed.
For example there are people who think that it is only a product of our own habit and believing that we need material food, and thus they try to live in a perpetual fast, in which yogic breath techniques and such things are supposed to nourish them instead of bread and butter... A path which ends up either with just starting to eat again, for having found now by oneself that good old common sense IS better than cloud-pusher's dreams no matter how beautiful these may sound at first hearing, and that it is OK to have a body of flesh and to nourish it with material food, as God made it so... Or with a sojourn in Mental Hospital where the half-starved victim of this modern illusion gets fed intravenously and "deprogrammed".

What the experience means is that you are bound to be one of many cells in the still unborn body of a new religious movement.

All religions we know today stem from times long past, in which most things worked in a way very different from our time's customs. People's minds were much narrower and much more blind obedience was recommended for daily life than it is today. This gives all current religions a taste of being outlived - which large parts of their structures really are. Human race world-wide is growing out of her small-kid's age, and also out of her elementary school age, and thus needs other patterns of teaching than before.

Small kids are spanked when they do wrong, and threatened with the Black Jack to come round to prevent them from doing nonsensical things; for they don't grasp much more of the world than such simplistic ideas. Thus former times needed the threat of Hell, and similar things, which are barbarian to our more grown-up views now. Most souls engaged in religion today have this kindergarten stage far behind them.

And elementary-school pupils have to read, or calculate, in chorus, for they learn things by heart best this way, and to walk in double row with their teacher after them when they go out, for thus none runs away and gets lost. Thus many people even today still need temples, preachers, and rituals to follow together "in chorus"... But each of them once, in this incarnation or one of the future, will feel they don't like this shepherd- and-herd pattern anymore, for it is too childish to anybody who grows out of this life phase of his/her soul.

To sum up, you now may forget outlived dogmas and forms of Christian religion, and throw off all images of God that don't fit no more; but do cling to your KNOWING that God IS, instead of just believing it. The Bible will get a new face for you now - it won't become obsolete, on the contrary! Remember Abraham who was sent by a direct meeting with the Lord to his long quest for the Promised Land! Remember the Holy Name of Yahveh means just "I AM"!
The rest, the new details needed in your now widened personal matrix, will fit in by themselves, they will come to you. You have made a bout of growing, like a boy "shooting up" before puberty; and Mother Life, knowing that your old clothes don't fit anymore, will soon sew you new ones.

Let the sheep run with their shepherds - unto slaughter. Let the dead bury their dead. You have not lost God. You found It!
miszivy (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2011-01-02)
Psychemft, you have just blown my mind. Email me please, candyninja [at]

I'm on my own search for truth... 😕
psychemft (1 posts)
12 years ago (2010-08-10)
Hi Morton, I am glad you are getting the feedback you requested. It is validating to know that mystics and physicists are saying the same thing. There is a great series, I think on discovery channel that are saying the same thing - the show is "Through the Wormhole" One physicist said it is as though the world reflects our beliefs, but once we turn away it does not necessarily exist when we are not looking at it. Sounds like the matriz to me. Many people are thrown off when they have a revelation like yours. Awakening is not necessarily a fun process but it is liberating from beliefs that teach us guilt and fear. I am a psychotherapist that specializes in spiritual awakening and experiences. You are not crazy.
Perhaps God is different from your previous belief, bigger more complex and impersonal but a supreme intelligence none the less. So some may interpret that as there is not God but others have then shifted their definition of God. Hang in there it gets easier, but your foundation of belief has shifted you into a new reality. That is neither easy nor simple. Because words cannot quite capture the ineffible reality that is experienced we may use different words, but the mystic still gets it.
Andrew_in_Australia (guest)
12 years ago (2010-08-08)
Hi Morton,

I happened upon this website and your post this morning while searching for "The Matrix" together with "Eckhart Tolle". I just realised this morning that "The Matrix" is an allegory of awakening from the matrix or prison of the mind. (Now I'm looking forward to watching it again - every time I watch it, it has another dimension! - truly a spiritual movie)

You are awakening from the matrix of your mind.

I am grateful to Eckhart Tolle for giving me the final pieces of my puzzle. What did it for me was the fact that you can tell that you are not your mind and its thoughts, emotions, beliefs, identifications, etc by the fact that you can observe your mind's thoughts and the gaps between the thoughts. For example: take a few deep conscious breaths, keeping your awareness on your breathing and on the gap between the out breath and the in breath.

Did you notice that your thoughts stopped or that there were large gaps between your thoughts? Who did the noticing? You did! Who are you? You are consciousness or Being. Eckhart Tolle says "We could say "God" if the word had not been so misused".
Up until now, except for the occasional glimpse of freedom, your consciousness has identified itself as your mind. It has been lost inside your mind, just like the dreamer becomes part of the dream.

I now prefer to call my mind my brain, which is just another part of my body. My brain is a tool to use, just as the rest of my body is, in the service of consciousness, for the purpose of helping other people awaken from their dream or nightmare, as the case may be. My brain is used for sensing the world, for remembering things like how to drive a car or use a computer, and for expressing my consciousness. It no longer runs my life.

I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" (from which the previous quote is taken), which is the best book I have ever read, but your mileage may vary - every person's spiritual path is unique. If you haven't already, check out the Eckhart Tolle page on this website at

I hope this helps you.

Morton (4 posts)
12 years ago (2010-08-02)
one other thing... I have come to understand that the reality of love just is... And I need a belief to receive that love... The belief that worked so well has been "god loves me" when I sense the love my mind says its god loving me and I receive the love through my belief. How else do I receive the love if not for that belief? How do I make the Love personal to me? Is there a state of being that supersedes the need for relating. Or is it really directed towards me?
Morton (4 posts)
12 years ago (2010-08-02)
Sorry guys that I haven't responded earlier... I have been a lil busy... I have learned some things over the past few weeks and I also very much appreciate the insight of the responses I have have got... Although I would very much like to here more about you and your experiences klondike77... My email is cookarooch01 [at] would appreciate it...morton
klondike77 (1 posts)
12 years ago (2010-07-31)
Hi Morton, I just stumbled across this site and your post. I had to register and respond right away. First, I am grateful for a forum like this to discuss these type issues and your post has really given me courage to respond and express my appreciation. I had a very similar experience several months ago. Fortunately I had a pastor friend with me when I completely freaked out screaming "who am I, God or Jesus Christ. For a week after this experience, you guessed it, I spiraled downward, and frankly felt embarrassed and confused. Since then my faith has become stronger and in the last months I have experienced things which are indescribable and completely life changing. I have felt led in the prophetic for only 2 years and my experiences which all sound amazingly identical to yours began 3 years ago.

Since this is my first comments here, I will keep it brief. I don't feel the need to elaborate, further. Honestly as I read your post, it was so similar to my recent history that I began to question whether I had written it in some other time dimension or something crazy like that.

Anyway, thanks for your honesty and your story.
John974 (2 posts)
12 years ago (2010-07-22)
Boy, you really had an experience!. I applaud you for taking something so profound in stride. If it was me, I'd be asking for feedback also. I think you were right on in thinking that we a are capable of creating God, or our version of it. Not that there isn't a God, there even seems to be more than one. It's like we respond to the God that is the most like us, that which embodies those attributes that we as humans l strive for. As we grow and desire more spiritual goals, we outgrow different versions of God. It sure seems like you are ready to take the leap to another version. We get so wowed out by creation and think "What a powerful feller our creator is"we loose site of the fact that the highest truths are those of the heart. World religions embody different versions of the same god according to the culture and history, the myths that each religion has built around it's version. They get very locked into their beliefs, you are so very lucky to be in a space where you can see beyond the world views. From my experience it's all about the heart, beyond the matrix, growing that to a place where power is way less impressive than it once was and finding love, which entails a whole lot of personal work, becomes the guiding force. I believe you are right in thinking that we are all God, or at least of God, but we are constantly trying to move back to the place of the heart, our place of becoming. The god of the heart can create a soul, but it cannot create a heart, just the capacity to love. I get very excited thinking about how it was pure love that made the move to share it by bringing wee little gods like ourselves into being! So cute!... We get lost along the way occasionally, but that's all part of it. Your sense of disconnection comes as you move from one area to another, from one version of god to another.It's part of growing. If you open to the heart, the love that the heart god has for every soul is very available. (.Hope this isn't coming off as preachy) In a sense it's like we never ever stop creating versions of God even as our truest selves, that which we've become, all the color and character we bring through our individuality keeps being accepted as part of the whole. There are ground rules but a whole lot of freedom to be ourselves. The heart adores color! This is an amazing time for souls to be making shifts, a lot of spiritual energy flowing into the old planet, a lot of support. I hope this is of some help, and the best of luck in your going forward. I love reading the other responses, having a chance to share. It seems that there's a lot of spiritual movement going on!
GoldenGate (22 posts)
12 years ago (2010-07-22)
Hi Morton and Libra1. I would say that both of you are closer to the truth. Although not one hundred percent the truth. It is difficult to articulate the truth you both have spoken of. Yea if one is truly seeking the real God, he or she should seek it by himself or herself. And start to question the doctrine or the teaching he has already been exposed to so far. And yea it is okay to disbelief the God of our understanding so far because after all the true reality might be different all together than we previously hold so dearly. So in order to hold the new truth in your hand you should throw away the old paradigm like an unnecessary baggage so to speak. So when your belief system, the old one start to crumble, that is when the new visionary and creative power start to flow into you. Giving you a new perception of reality. Some of us could even remember the time when we are about to enter this realm of illusion. They even remember before this matrix so to speak is created. I think more and more people will start to speak up about what they experience and what they perceive and with the open communication like here using the internet all information is virtually available instantaneously. 😊
If you want to write me my email address is:
Budyardjo123 [at]
Libra1 (1 stories) (35 posts)
12 years ago (2010-07-20)
Wow! I just found this site this morning and am becoming addicted to reading the experiences. I started reading yours and found myself unable to stop. I was brought up protestant and then married a catholic but do not really believe either one. Because of all the experiences I have had in my life, including the very first one that I remember like it was yesterday, I remember just before I entered into this body as a newborn. Someone once told me I would know when the time was right to start telling people that. It still feels strange saying it, but it is true. I really don't know of any organized religion that rings true to what I experienced. I do know that we are Spiritual beings living in a Physical world. I believe our main goal is to nurish the spirit and soul as well as the physical body. To learn what we came here to learn, I have absolutely no doubt about that. I also believe that everything is connected in some way or another, and that we all blend together at some point. Whatever happends, good or bad, is meant to happen and will happen. I also believe that we have guidence from beings on the otherside, and when we get off our path they can influence us to get us back on track. I believe that every single particle in the complete universe has a spark, the same spark is in everything! If you could see the smallest particle of anything in the universe it would all look the same! In a way, we are all one. We may seem very different. But, down to the very center of our core, we all have that spark. God is that spark, God is in all of us, God is in everything! ❤

You are posting as a guest. To reserve your own user name, sign up!

Search this site: