I will begin by asking these questions: What am I? Am I even human? Do I still possess the many spiritual gifts that I was born with... Or are they gone forever? I'll start off with a few small details about myself. I'm 18 years old, and in a sense a tad bit inexperienced with all of this. I literally feel like I'm not a member of the human race, in fact the only way that I can make sense of myself is if I think of my self as an alien, or a creature, or my personal favorite... human-hybrid.
I believe that I was born with a lot of spiritual gifts. As a young child I was extremely spiritually in tune. I had a few demonic and possibly angelic (though I'm not sure it could have been a demon disguising itself as an angel of light) visitations. I had a prophetic gift (dreamt about the world trade center attack 2 weeks before it happened etc). I'm definitely without a doubt an empath and I'm extremely intuitive.
I feel like I may have lost some of my gifts. Growing up I got into drugs and alcohol, I've also had issues with mental illness. I've had a lot of very traumatic experiences in my life. I'm now on an anti-depressant and anti-psychotic. I feel like these things have either gotten rid of my gifts or clouded them.
On very rare occasions I feel my prophetic gift but it's very dull. A lot of times my intuition kicks in but it's sometimes hard to tell it apart from my paranoia. I'm currently clean of drugs and alcohol, and eventually plan to see a naturopath doctor to get prescribed to supplements rather than take medication. Will my gifts come back or are they gone forever?
I've always known I was different. I took the myers-briggs personality test and apparently I am an INFJ (feel free to google). INFJ's are an extremely rare breed. Only 1% of the population has this personality type, making it the rarest out of 16 different personality types. INFJ's are known for their intuition, empathy, and "psychic" abilities, which is extremely different from all the other personality types.
I am a follower of Jesus, and though I find New Age very interesting I try to steer clear of it. But I don't doubt that there are probably a few seeds of truths in it. (don't let the Christian part intimidate you, I'm extremely open-minded and desperate for answers from all different types of perspectives).
I should probably also add that I had my first (and only) lsd trip a little less than a year ago. I had a very intense spiritual awakening. About I week later, I believe that I was demon possessed... Scratch that, I know for a fact that I was demon possessed. That also tied in with a psychotic break, so I believe that there was a definite mental/physical aspect, along with a spiritual aspect. I'll just say in short, I'm lucky to be alive. (Also there are a few other times that I definitely should have died, but some how am miraculously still here).
I'm a broken person, with a whole lot of questions and confusion. I would GREATLY APPRECIATE a mentor. And I need to learn how to channel my gifts, if I even still possess them. Feel 100% free to ask for any details about anything that may help you to provide me with some answers.
I will end with the same questions. What am I? Am I even human? Do I still possess the many spiritual gifts that I was born with... Or are they gone forever?