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Am I Descending?

 

Peace and love my friends:)

So my story is going to be about how I get from ascension to descension (probably) I would really be grateful for any advice, and I would like to warn you as well!:)

I used to live in London, and having the "dark years of the soul". I was extremely depressed, and lost, and careless of my life, I was drinking and smoking a lot of weed.

But in the early 2015 I found the books of Eckhart Tolle, and than many youtube channel about ascension, and I developed a great peace, I realized that I am an empath, and that I have so many gifts. But I still had a little problem with alcohol and weed. And the biggest problem was that I lived with a "shaman" who didn't have my best interest and I did not know what he is... Any time I came in contact with him I felt drained...

In the beginning of 2017 the shaman told me to stop smoking weed, and drink beers because that's healthier... (or is it because alcohol lowers my frequency and damages my aura, and it becomes easier for him to drain me?:))

So I stopped weed completely, and I was drinking very rarely, I also went vegan/vegetarian, and at this time I was having the time of my life. I knew that I am on the right path. My psychic abilities started to develop. I astral traveled a few times, I had a few lucid dreams, I finally started to see why I am here, I was getting close to my soulmate who I was dreaming of in the past 3 years. I even had glimpses of 5D for short period of time.

But there was a week when I went back to drinking alcohol again... I still don't know why but I was drinking every night for that week a half bottle of whiskey... I didn't know that that week is going to change my life.

After this week I lost my appetite, I was sweating in my bed for 2 days, without sleeping, I lost 10 kG, and looking into the shaman's eyes was literally painful at this time.

After being awake for 2 days, I felt asleep for like 10 minutes, and when I woke up I saw a vision about me and my soulmate together, and I felt the biggest peace I ever felt. But then the shaman opened the door and asked me: "where is your muscles?" it felt very bad to look into his eyes again, and I started to think of him, and feel hatred for him, and then my peace gone...

After these days I had something what the doctors describe as "psychotic episode"... My vibration dropped, I felt like I am possessed and not myself, I was texting bullshiat to my soulmate and my bosses. In my head I heard the shaman's voice, I still don't know if I am crazy or he talked to me telepathically but everything he told me become true later. He told me he going to take my soul, my karma, my soulmate, my smile, and my eyes away from me (he told me many other things). And everything happened as the voice told me...

I had to come home to eastern Europe, and my eyes looks different, I can't really smile, I lost my soulmate, all my abilities, I can't even meditate, I can't be present at all, I lost the ability to feel good emotions, to think positively. Negative synchronicity and bad luck is following me everywhere. I have no life at all, I only see my parents crying because they see me like this...

It happened 3 month before, and I become a different person for now. Instead of being whole I became fragmented as hell, I feel like I can't stand up from here.

When I get to the finish point that I was waiting for probably eons, everything turned against me, and I lost everything. Instead of being with my soulmate and in 5D consciousness I am in hell.

I know that it is all my fault, because I let the shaman do this to me by drinking alcohol and by focusing on him instead of my vision. If I concentrate of love instead of hatred I would have stayed in my peace and my vision would have come true... But I chose to hate him, instead of love and I think I lost everything.

I didn't understand how could he take my karma and my soul away... Now I see what he meant.

Without my soulmate and my abilities my soul experience is quite different, and if I can't do my work that I was supposed to do, my karma is going to be different which is going to effect me forever.

So keep your vibration high, don't drink alcohol, focus on love and ascend!

I would really be grateful for some advice if you think it is still possible to go 5D for me.

Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by spiritual-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Harekrishna, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Anon (guest)
 
2 weeks ago (2020-06-24)
Just be glad it was just one "shaman" and not half a dozen or so sorcerers taking turns and pieces and torturing you whilst also calling you good things.

You try and fight all of them at once while going through the hell realms for their crimes and then they still try to infect you with bad things still gangstalk you still do cruel things both in spirit and flesh

AFTER
You had left them gone for a year
AND
You were nice to them and healed them
AND
You're dealing with the other worldly entities as well

If you can do that without a drop of booze or weed
I'll call you my equal

If you can do that, and get everything back without a drop of blood shed, or them using gangstalking to defame your name and accuse you of things they are doing (defaming and backstabbing each other for starters)

Then I will call you a saint
Anon (guest)
 
5 months ago (2020-01-28)
Further to my point before

The author said they hated the sorcerer and they think this is karmic issue and they won't go 5D now

Rubbish

If these were the kinds of spirits I have had to deal with the karma is on them

They're also the kinds of shiats that trick us with karma

Do you honestly believe a loving deity would punish us for a past life crime by putting us into little bodies that go through what some kids got put through?

Do you honestly believe that we make contracts before we even have bodies to go through that stuff?

Its bullshiat; inter life karma and soul contracts are garbage.

In this life there is cause and effect. It looks like karma but it's not.

Because the bullies habitually avoid responsibility.

Stop beating yourself up

Psalm 37 of the bible is good for this

If we are going to get clear and justice it will come

Maybe you don't have to go 5d maybe this saved you and you can go to a real heaven

Maybe it saved me. I don't know yet I empathize with you

Will see what happens for both okay

May love grant you serenity
Anon (guest)
 
5 months ago (2020-01-28)
First of all

Shaman means healer. If this individual was deliberately doing those things, they're not a healer. They're a sorcerer.

If, that is.

Sometimes shamans draw shiat entities towards them to clean up the neighborhood and sometimes those entities show up looking for people on drugs. If this individual was strong in themselves you would not have noticed a thing and they still would have asked you to quit drugs.

Experiencing psychic attack later is a sign of sorcery, not shamanism.

Spirits can mimic other spirits. But spirits that mimic very rarely tell the truth.

When you start "ascending" you can also experience fears manifesting. Some are not your own.

Sometimes sorcerers take advantage of that. And increase your fear so that your "clearing out phase" is more harrowing.

Ultimately you need to trust yourself.

Someone took your soul? Bullshiat. You are writing a post. Dead people don't write blog posts.

Do you have clairvoyant? Okay when someone take energy from you, do you see what colour it is? Not your colour wasn't you.

I had experienced of sorcerers and demons come for me. Try to claim I am dead. RIP a soul from my chest you name it I am cleaning it up.

As we speak.

But I saw straight away that wasn't my colours. I know my colours so I know it wasn't me.

Then I was like, still not dead...

Okay so what is it

Going through the abyss as part of clean up operation to get out?

Sorcerers?

Our own fears manifesting?

Psychosis?

Whatever it is neither of us are dead and if we really did lose something that is supposed to animate us we wouldn't be alive to speak.

Now as for anyone reading this - big warning about going 5D.

Universal mind is real. So is passing through the dissociative "timeless phase".

But from what I seen this is a HUGE RISK. Because as some religions have observed to get there we gotta pass through some layers that are sometimes blocked by really bad spirits.

Always declare NO CONTRACT.

If any part of you says NO all of you says NO. They might try to claim you said yes. They might trick you a thousand ways. This experience has many names - archontic deception etc etc. These entities have NO LEGAL RIGHT to any of us, ever!

They deceive and they lie.

So fear them not.

Focus on spirituality away from theosophic doctrines.

Focus perhaps more on mindfulness meditation, spending time in nature and clearing work.

But fear them not.

They take a crap for awhile then they shut up

Like bullies

We get left to clean up the mess

Its doable

Peace be upon you
timi (guest)
 
7 months ago (2019-12-12)
what can never be taken away from you ever is your divine birthright. You can never not be a part of 'god', the 'creator', the 'universe' whatever you wish to call it. You can be in seperation by what you claim and by what others claim for you. This is a matrix only and not Truth with a capital T.

I had a similar dark night of the soul. Although, mine manifested as lots of health issues and depression. I became so opened up spiritually but was not experienced well and did not have a community around spirituality and it became quite easy for me to stay dangerously ungrounded. It was also a lack of energetic boundaries that kept me under psychic attack and at the mercy of everyone elses emotions and vibration. This was a neccessary passage for me as now I am able to offer grounded support for others through their turbulant awakenings...
Star67 (guest)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-19)
"What is yet to be, has already been.
What has already been, has yet to be."
If you have excepted Christ as your savior, you will indeed make it.
But, it will be in his timing, not yours.
Have faith.
Love and listen to your higher self (inner soul).

Knock doubt of your left shoulder and kick fear in the teeth:)
If you feel darkness attempting to creep in...
Invision yourself saying "Have some of Christs blood."
As you pour a little out of a small teapot all over darkness...
Darkness will slither away:)
See you on the flip side (in the higher dementions)

đŸ’–Princess Mischelle
Hi. wish you read this (guest)
 
2 years ago (2018-03-09)
See that your story, even the bad thing is for your own highest good. If you had not known that the shaman guy has this power over you, would you have been able to really ascend? Now that your situation has come to light, you can realize that you created this, and that's fine. Give yourself a break. It's earth life, bad things happen to everyone. Now you can take back your power. You don't need your soulmate to be whole. You can enjoy 3d or 4d or whenever you are as well, while fixing the things that are holding you back.
You can do it, don't worry about stupid mean people.
D_M_Shiro (5 posts)
 
3 years ago (2017-11-14)
Honestly, I wish I could say I've had most of your experiences, meaning that while I feel I am on the ascension path, it seems you have come much further in your journey than I have so far.
Now, you're feeling stuck, you feel like you have nowhere to go because you feel your future is now blank.

While I will not propose a position on whether you are continuing your ascension or are descending (As it is only something you can know for sure), I will assure you that when you feel locked up in a box is typically one of the times you must most pay attention to yourself and things going on around you.

Remember, as part of ascension, we acknowledge that we are God, or that God's energy flows through us; therefore, we are all interconnected to one-another. Therefore, you can choose the path you wish to be on and manifest the creation you wish to see.

If you had a glimpse of your soulmate, and yet your soulmate is now invisible to you, ask yourself why. Has something else truly blinded you, or is it in the belief that you could be blinded that you now find yourself as such?

Believe in yourself and your abilities, and regardless of how long it takes, they will return to you.

Much love and light.
DisruptedMatrix (guest)
 
3 years ago (2017-11-14)
My truth is different from yours so I don't know if I can give any advice, but I guess I'll lay out my thoughts.

Ugh, it's so hard to give words to these things rather than just believe I'm crazy. But I too feel like I have a soulmate. But sometimes... I think that the soulmate is everyone and me. That I need to bring the pieces of my soul together. The "good" and "bad" (really hate those words). I was listening to a song and here...
"We are, we are in-love enemies
We are sentimental slaves on broken knees
We're on empty
We were, we were one identity
Now the trouble is remembering
Addicted to a memory"

Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqJiXLJs_Pg

I certainly don't want to tell you which path to travel, but if you are feeling stuck, maybe try looking at the other side of your soul?

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