For the last week I've been on edge near tears and sometimes crying soft or weeping deeply. I am becoming aware of people's light and darkness and it pains me when those I thought to be my friends are revealed to me. My happiest moments are watching light in children. Yesterday I was so focused in my spirit, I had tears on edge and had thought about wearing sunglasses but of course it was rainy and in afterthought I didn't care; the shame of being seen crying if I should left. I held the tears through my train ride but they wanted out. When I got on the bus, I still held them on edge and kept taking deep breaths and counts in my head.
A stop came and a man and four children got on, I started smiling. I saw the lights around each of their heads and I just smiled! The father followed up last and I looked at him and felt a wrenching pain in my heart. He did not smile he just looked at me as he was passing. The children' lights left as they settled for seats. I immediately hear in my head, "Give him all the money in your pocket." I didn't question anything, I went in my pocket and found a twenty and some other bills, I didn't count them, and wrapped them in the tissue as private as possible. When my stop was coming, I tapped the man on the shoulder and gave him a "here" motion as private as possible. He opened his hand, I gave and he accepted. I immediately moved to exit. When I got off the bus, I went about a block and the tears immediately flowed, I was weeping in the street! Someone asked if I was ok but I barely focused to answer, I just walked and allowed the spirit to cry through me. Then it just stopped and I went about myself.
The day pretty much went on as a blur of events and I thank God because I accepted him into my heart. We are not so independent that we should deny him; that would be denying our spirits. Remember, we are made in his image, not our bodies, our SPIRITS! We cannot use these abilities without his direction, so if there is confusion, depression, anger, and such, as how we feel and what to do with what of an Empath or the name we call it, do know that we need to move with the spirit and do God's work. These are not our abilities for self-reasons.
God uses us, "The Chosen", to address the issues of his greatest creation... HUMANS. Seek his direction and love and there will less and less confusion as to how to "use" these "tools". Sometimes it seems like nothing happens and the abilities are gone but they are not. Those are the moments one should be focused on feeding their spirit, praying and strengthening their personal relationship with God until he gives another assignment--from something so simple to something seemingly complex but again, let the Spirit move you and follow his direction and experience the ultimate purpose of your wonderful abilities---to serve humanity.
In heart and spirit and love and truth. 2/16/12