My name is Joe, I am 23 years old from NY. I will not get into the details of my life story other than as a child I have had no faith in a Higher Power or God or whatever you choose to call him, I was my own higher power. I made a lot of decisions that had put me in bad places as a teenager, I was ruining lives all around me, my family, people who loved me, I had become addicted to drugs and alcohol, I was truly a good kid, I played baseball my whole life through H.S., and genuinely nice.
With that I still always felt like something was missing, and when I drank alcohol, that feeling of uselessness disappeared and it continued to stay disappeared until my real problem was revealed to me, and I had to become honest, I AM THE PROBLEM NOT THE ALCHOHOL, the alcohol relieved my problems, but would not keep them relieved, drinking stopped working for me. While doing this I also became an IV drug user. (That will become an interesting part of this experience soon)
I was a 19 year old boy, causing chaos in everyone's life including myself, I was damaging my body, playing russian roulette with my life. God had a different plan for me, at the age of 19 in september of 2006 I was arrested by the police and the grace of God. I was put into a treatment facility for people who have drug and alcohol problems like myself. In this rehab I met a God of my understanding from a distance, I started to realize that I have a whole world ahead of me, I would pray to God as is I was talking to an imaginary friend.
Things began to happen. In treatment I was told I had done liver damage and have contracted hepatitis c, and that I may need to go on medicine in the future. I hated that they told me that and I buried that fact about me deep inside of me for a long time after that, along with all the other things I have done bad in my life. All of it was poison to me and total blockage from my true loving God that I have in my life today. Finally I get out of treatment after 17 months of it. I attend AA, but still have all these deep dark secrets of mine.
I meet a women, I fall in love with her and her son, and we move in together. Now 2 and a half years sober, my deep secrets come back to haunt me, the poison inside me starts to boil, and here I am again THE PROBLEM. So I beg God for help and he gives it. After immediately asking him for guidance it was received, a man came up to me and said, hey I have the answer to your problems as long as you can follow a few simple directions. Ok of course I will because I'm in pain, pain is a great motivator, in the process with this I decide to fully turn my life over to the care of God, so I put my trust in him and jumped out of an airplane skydiving, if you want to test your faith skydiving is a good way.
Now I am told I need to get rid of all that poison that's been eating at me for years, so I begin to take an inventory on myself, (a business that doesn't take inventory cannot succeed), I cannot succeed if I don't even know the truth about myself. So I do and I realize that I have been the main cause of all my problems, I cannot blame anyone for doing anything to me because I have done worse to them most of the time.
Now it comes time to admit to another human all this stuff, now this is where my spiritual experience kicks off to its peak of now, I tell this person about my hep c that I may have it, and along with all the other blockage, he told me I need to tell my better half since I never did, I thought she would leave me, I told her, she said I'm with you through thick and thin, no matter what, what an amazing woman. So now I am so scared of this at this point, I'm told I have to go to the doctor to get a complete physical to see what I have, so I do, I had to wait a week for the results, that hardest week I had but I did major praying with the love of my life everyday.
The doctor called and said that I DID NOT HAVE HEPATITIS all the tests came back negative and I am fine. God literally moved mountains in my life, this has made me realize I have a bigger purpose here than I ever thought, I have a relationship with this God today closer than ever and finally I am free of myself, now its time to grow up and make up for all I have done to people, until then.
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