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Am I Descending?

 

Peace and love my friends:)

So my story is going to be about how I get from ascension to descension (probably) I would really be grateful for any advice, and I would like to warn you as well!:)

I used to live in London, and having the "dark years of the soul". I was extremely depressed, and lost, and careless of my life, I was drinking and smoking a lot of weed.

But in the early 2015 I found the books of Eckhart Tolle, and than many youtube channel about ascension, and I developed a great peace, I realized that I am an empath, and that I have so many gifts. But I still had a little problem with alcohol and weed. And the biggest problem was that I lived with a "shaman" who didn't have my best interest and I did not know what he is... Any time I came in contact with him I felt drained...

In the beginning of 2017 the shaman told me to stop smoking weed, and drink beers because that's healthier... (or is it because alcohol lowers my frequency and damages my aura, and it becomes easier for him to drain me?:))

So I stopped weed completely, and I was drinking very rarely, I also went vegan/vegetarian, and at this time I was having the time of my life. I knew that I am on the right path. My psychic abilities started to develop. I astral traveled a few times, I had a few lucid dreams, I finally started to see why I am here, I was getting close to my soulmate who I was dreaming of in the past 3 years. I even had glimpses of 5D for short period of time.

But there was a week when I went back to drinking alcohol again... I still don't know why but I was drinking every night for that week a half bottle of whiskey... I didn't know that that week is going to change my life.

After this week I lost my appetite, I was sweating in my bed for 2 days, without sleeping, I lost 10 kG, and looking into the shaman's eyes was literally painful at this time.

After being awake for 2 days, I felt asleep for like 10 minutes, and when I woke up I saw a vision about me and my soulmate together, and I felt the biggest peace I ever felt. But then the shaman opened the door and asked me: "where is your muscles?" it felt very bad to look into his eyes again, and I started to think of him, and feel hatred for him, and then my peace gone...

After these days I had something what the doctors describe as "psychotic episode"... My vibration dropped, I felt like I am possessed and not myself, I was texting bullshiat to my soulmate and my bosses. In my head I heard the shaman's voice, I still don't know if I am crazy or he talked to me telepathically but everything he told me become true later. He told me he going to take my soul, my karma, my soulmate, my smile, and my eyes away from me (he told me many other things). And everything happened as the voice told me...

I had to come home to eastern Europe, and my eyes looks different, I can't really smile, I lost my soulmate, all my abilities, I can't even meditate, I can't be present at all, I lost the ability to feel good emotions, to think positively. Negative synchronicity and bad luck is following me everywhere. I have no life at all, I only see my parents crying because they see me like this...

It happened 3 month before, and I become a different person for now. Instead of being whole I became fragmented as hell, I feel like I can't stand up from here.

When I get to the finish point that I was waiting for probably eons, everything turned against me, and I lost everything. Instead of being with my soulmate and in 5D consciousness I am in hell.

I know that it is all my fault, because I let the shaman do this to me by drinking alcohol and by focusing on him instead of my vision. If I concentrate of love instead of hatred I would have stayed in my peace and my vision would have come true... But I chose to hate him, instead of love and I think I lost everything.

I didn't understand how could he take my karma and my soul away... Now I see what he meant.

Without my soulmate and my abilities my soul experience is quite different, and if I can't do my work that I was supposed to do, my karma is going to be different which is going to effect me forever.

So keep your vibration high, don't drink alcohol, focus on love and ascend!

I would really be grateful for some advice if you think it is still possible to go 5D for me.

Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by spiritual-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Harekrishna, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

D_M_Shiro (5 posts)
 
2 weeks ago (2017-11-13)
Honestly, I wish I could say I've had most of your experiences, meaning that while I feel I am on the ascension path, it seems you have come much further in your journey than I have so far.
Now, you're feeling stuck, you feel like you have nowhere to go because you feel your future is now blank.

While I will not propose a position on whether you are continuing your ascension or are descending (As it is only something you can know for sure), I will assure you that when you feel locked up in a box is typically one of the times you must most pay attention to yourself and things going on around you.

Remember, as part of ascension, we acknowledge that we are God, or that God's energy flows through us; therefore, we are all interconnected to one-another. Therefore, you can choose the path you wish to be on and manifest the creation you wish to see.

If you had a glimpse of your soulmate, and yet your soulmate is now invisible to you, ask yourself why. Has something else truly blinded you, or is it in the belief that you could be blinded that you now find yourself as such?

Believe in yourself and your abilities, and regardless of how long it takes, they will return to you.

Much love and light.
DisruptedMatrix (guest)
 
2 weeks ago (2017-11-13)
My truth is different from yours so I don't know if I can give any advice, but I guess I'll lay out my thoughts.

Ugh, it's so hard to give words to these things rather than just believe I'm crazy. But I too feel like I have a soulmate. But sometimes... I think that the soulmate is everyone and me. That I need to bring the pieces of my soul together. The "good" and "bad" (really hate those words). I was listening to a song and here...
"We are, we are in-love enemies
We are sentimental slaves on broken knees
We're on empty
We were, we were one identity
Now the trouble is remembering
Addicted to a memory"

Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqJiXLJs_Pg

I certainly don't want to tell you which path to travel, but if you are feeling stuck, maybe try looking at the other side of your soul?

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