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My Experiences Of Transformation

 

It took me a very long-time to accept what was happening to me was spiritual. I had all sorts of theories, my favorite seem to be that I was some sort of bizarre psychological experiment. I tended to ignore the fact that some of the things happening were beyond reach of current technology, for example, people repeating my thoughts. As an avid drug user I believed my mind had finally snapped its tether and had completely 'lost the plot' so to speak.

This is what happened to me. It start slowly, I just began to notice that the people in my local area seemed out of place, I live in a very multicultural area with very little caucasian people, lots of elderly white people holding hands tend to stick out in my area. Then everyone seemed to be staring at me, smiling, this actually enraged me, "What the Hell" are they looking at and why does it seem so bloody amusing. Then as I sat on the bus, people were actually repeating my thoughts out loud, this sent me of the handle, I mean what is going on and what gives them the right to voice my private thoughts out loud anyway? I felt completely invaded and ridiculed, teenagers seemed to be the worst. I thought about wearing headphones but I was intrigued, as hurtful as it was, I had to keep reaffirming to myself that this is really happening.

Then the panic started for real! I thought for sure I was going to have a heart attack as my heart rate went through the roof, I constantly sweated and my thoughts raced. No one was able to comfort me and I actually felt threatened by my friends and family as I no longer understood what they were talking about, everything seemed to be in code, sounding perfectly normal to any outsider listening but loaded with innuendo for me. I really couldn't understand why nobody would tell me what was going on when I knew that they knew something of what was happening to me (I still don't know why I was left in the dark either).

Strange things happened for weeks, I saw flashing blue lights, I could hear my partner talking to me (in my head) I could hear a private conversation from across the street in short I became slightly telepathic, which I absolutely hated as all I seemed to hear were horrible, angry words. I became reclusive, I felt like the laughing stock of humanity, people made me very afraid.

My cats personality changed, spiders appeared everywhere and more than once the ground beneath my feet started to dissolve into oblivion. I now believe I was spiritually transforming however my lack of courage sent me running in the other direction.

Now I can't seem to transform my anger into something productive, I know people are always repeating my thoughts back to me and instead of using this to understand myself better it just causes my feelings of violation to escalate. On one level I realize this is to help me grow but on a baser level it just causes my ego into extreme anger.

I don't know where to go from here.

Bright Blessings to all,

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by spiritual-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, splashcat, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (131 posts)
 
3 years ago (2015-01-25)
My advice is pray and fast, but not beyond reasonable limit. Also read the bible often, and try to practise at least some of it. Also find a church and confess to a priest, and take holy comunion once a month or so. I recommend the eastern (greek or russian) orthodox church. Slowly but surely evil will exit from your life, and you'll feel peaceful and protected by God's Angels. And stay away from sin and occult practises! Good luck! Timfaraos [at] gmail.com
Nickr2 (2 stories) (18 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-13)
In my spiritual "travels" I have learned a couple things. The first thing is that everything is connected. And to put this concept into a very basic scientific view is: There is a big spiritual circle. Think of god as the beginning. And also think of him as the center of the universe. The universe "vibrates" at a certain frequency, A very very low frequency (and I will explain later why lower frequency in the physical is higher in the spiritual) and the universe rotates in a circular motion (or at least the center does as I have found out) and this circular motion of the universe would be a lot slower/ have less cycles than the smaller circles like the solar system. When electricity/energy (remember that all thoughts and motions of our body are electricity/energy) moves in a circular motion it creates a electromagnetic field (even light is technically an electromagnetric effect). This is what connects all of the galaxies to god physically and spiritually. Then all of the galaxies create there own electromagnetic field which connects all of the stars to the galaxy both physically and spiritually. Then all of the stars creates there own electromagnetic field (the soloar winds that come from the sun go up to a certain point and just stop. We don't know what is happening at this point of stopping, but we do know that the solar winds create a circle, so technically the earth is not in the electromagnetic part, but inside the electromagnet itself) which connects all of their planets. Then there is our earth which creates it's own electromagnetic force, and that connects all of the animals on this planet. Then as humans we have a earth chakra (at the base of the spine) which connects us to the earth. And a crown chakra (at the top of the head) which connects us to the cosmos (this connection can be anything in the cosmos but when we are functioning properly it connects us to god). Now what I have just said may not be the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But it is how I can explain it with humans limited understanding of the physical world (meaning we don't really know a lot about what happens beyond our solar system or even in it for that matter).

And now to explain why lower in the physical is higher in the spiritual. I have noticed things that I will not explain here. But I will explain this basic concept of our sight so we can get a physical understanding of the concept of the transposition that happens between the physical and the spirit. Remember how our eyes give us a picture of the world upside down and our brain interprets this image right side up. Well an interesting quote I have seen is that "we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience." this quote really hit home with me when I saw it, and I think it is very true. With assuming this is true, our conscious (the part of the spirit and brain that is most physically grounded to the outside world) sees the image transposed from the eyes. This would also explain why when humans brains operate at higher frequencies we are more agitated, excited, and anger easy (anger would be a lower emotion spiritually). And when our brain is operating at lower frequencies we are calmer and more peaceful.

This leads me to my final point. When you take any sort of drug (even food for that matter) it alters your brain wave patterns. For example, for a lot of people Marry Jane make them calmer (some not of course) and its lowers your brain wave frequency. When your brainwaves are altered your will pick up different spiritual vibes as well. As you said, you were an avid drug user. This tuned you into a bad vibe and your are struggling to get out of it. And the more spiritual you become the worse these vibes will effect you. I would highly suggest meditation for you. You can start off with a mantra, or not (mine is "I am becoming peaceful, calm, and centered. I am becoming mindful of the universe, and one with god."). But when you feel yourself starting to relax stop the mantra and stop all the thoughts of your mind. Do this for however long you can hold it, and when you feel you mind starting to become active again return to your mantra. And wash and repeat cycle for however long you feel you want to. I would suggest meditating to your age, for example I am 21 so I should meditate for 21 minutes or longer. Also you might feel like your brain becomes active right after the mantra. Don't return right away back to the mantra, but try to stop your thoughts without it, and if it is not working then start the mantra. I would also suggest the lotus pose, with the hands clasped together because this make the electromagnetic field we create more spherical.

I hope this helps

Sincerely,

Nicholas Ryan Rasmussen
splashcat (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-10)
Thankyou to everyone who took the time to share their knowledge with me, I'm very grateful, and to Alomynous, feel free to contact me through my email address if you would like to further share your experiences with me, I know it helps to know your not crazy. This is a very supportive community, I'm glad I found it.
Bright Blessings to All, Kerry ❤
budhabee (1 stories) (3 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-09)
years ago I had a roomate who got involved with smoking crack. I really didn't know what it could do to you at the time. Later after watching it for awhile I decided it made him very paranoid. Then while I was at work I guess they were smoking it all this time you know. I would get home to find all my windows (and they were huge) covered up with black plastic garbage bags.

They were all taped to hold them in place. (I worked nights) and I couldn't see the sun come up because of their paranoia. I am thinking crack users are very paranoid but also that there must be a reason for that. I am thinking that they did hear voices and other things that I couldn't hear.

I tried smoking it a couple of times just not my bag. I stuck to mary jane.

I watched my roomate lose weight in just 3 months. He just dropped in weight over night it seemed. His eyes became glassy and hard. It scared me. I was wrestling with throat cancer at the time. I went to go live with another friend. It was all just too much for me at the time. Blessings guys just hang in there and I pray your spirits lead you towards the right circumstances to help you towards a better view of the world.
alomynous (1 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-09)
I just want to thank you, so much, for posting your story. I had nearly the same experience after some heavier drug use when I was home over this last summer. Everyone and everything around me was so different, I kept questioning weather or not I was still existing on the same plane as before my drug use. I thought I had died. My dogs personality changed, I saw lights and small creatures, I would respond to things I heard people think because I thought they said it. The part you said about everything being in code especially hits home for me. I couldn't watch TV or go online. I ended up distancing myself from everyone I was closest to. I told all of my friends I couldn't talk to them anymore, and ended up taking my dog, who was the only person I still felt connected to, to the park and hiking every day. The few people I was still talking to encouraged me to stay off of all drugs even marijuana, which eventually brought most of the symptoms to an end. It's really amazing to read your story and see that someone else had a similar experience to me. I am so grateful for your post.

Blessings!
helen_kit_chi (1 stories) (13 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-03)
Dear splashcat,

You are at a critical juncture of your spiritual development. Please do the following immediately. They are numbered in order of priority, ie, practice numbers 1 and 2 first. Since you may not be able to do #3 and 4 effectively until you have stabilized yourself with #1 and 2.

1. Bring your mind home to the 'Here and Now' by using mantra. The mantra you select should be based on your religious background. Mantras such as 'Our Father who art in heaven' or 'Aum' would work. Repeat your mantra continuously whenever you feel panic or that others are intruding into your thought. At the same time, be confident that you are protected. And I assure you that you are! Only if you can see the Light constantly shining on you, and not just focus on the darkness.

2. Stop using drugs or alcohol at this point. If you cannot totally stop, use as little possible. Too many doors, spiritual-wise, are open to you now. Drugs and alcohol make it difficult for you to focus and navigate the new landscape.

3. Focus on the loving side of people. And I count your cat as people too. Yes, there is always a loving side to people! To those people who give you their mean look and bad thoughts, give them your other cheek, that is, your loving side, and they will respond in kind, eventually.

3. Be mindful of your thought and feelings and encounters. Write them down. Then write down the positive things you would like to see happen to you. By writing down your wishes and affirmations, you are making a spell - you see, you are spelling out what you want. And words are a powerful thing.

May you see the Light and Love that is constantly shining on you.
spiricat (9 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-03)
Splashcat,

Since these things are scary for you I think you should ask that they stop. Just pray and ask that these things stop until such a time as you feel ready for them. Or you can ask that the intensity be lessened so they are not so scary or overwhelming. I know someone who is experienced with these things and actually has a group for people who are dealing with this. I'm not sure if it's okay to post a link to his online group here so, if you wish, you may contact me privately and I'll give it to you. All is well. Blessings.
splashcat (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-01)
Thankyou Spiricat,

I have actually been checking this out myself, and as I read some of the symptoms I was amazed that every one of the symptoms listed I had been through and it was terrifying, this has actually happened to me a few times however last year was the most intense. I actually checked myself into a psych ward, and checked right back out the following morning.
The telepathy bothers me. The reason I believe that people are reading my thoughts is best to give an example. (Sorry about this example but it's the first one that comes to mind). When I checked into the psyche ward I locked myself in the room too afraid to come out as I couldn't even watch T.V, it was like every movie made was somehow about me, anyway I farted! Promptly I heard one of the other residents say there's a bathroom for that. These things were constant if I was on a bus and I seen graffeti that I didn't like, someone at the other end of the bus would say,
"Oh, she doesn't like that one" or words to that effect. This continues to this day, I'm just a little more used to hearing my thoughts spoken back to me.
Thankyou for taking the time to answer.
Love and Light
NaturalScience (3 stories) (110 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-01)
Don't think you get to hear provocative things in order to make you learn not to get angry, or such kindergarten nonsense. There are spirits which "live on" harassing people, or sucking off their strength, "astral spiders", the insect spiders you see in reality only symbolize that there are non-material creatures interested in weakening your mind. If you hear or feel bad things of this kind, or get panicky, call out to God in the language and words you learned when young. Everybody knows for example a prayer to the Guardian Angel or to St Michael and this is what you should use. If you are on your own shout it, or sing it, use your voice not just your mind. I don't know much more but others as Rashidah know much about Shielding and similar techniques to keep demonic forces away. Some here also are white magicians.
As to drugs, of course your brain has become oversensitive by their use, but it is not the primary source of what you perceive. You just have become a fine resonance-membrane for bad vibes - which means you to be called up to help combat them. There is many ways to do this on the spiritual plane. But the only way possible to everybody including those who are not at good health, weakened by drugs for example, is Pray And Work! And this I recommend to you in order to get your feet back on the ground. You may smoke some marijuana at night after a busy day but try to keep off all drugs that are harder, and most important, abstain completely of schnapps and whiskey!
spiricat (9 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-01)
Dear Splashcat,

I think you are having a kundalini experience because everything you talk about indicates that, especially the spiders and the telepathy. It may not be so much that people are repeating your thoughts but that you are reading theirs and know what they are going to say next. Please do a search for the word "kundalini" to learn more. It is a state of enlightenment, much desired by many. I hope this helps. Blessings. 😊

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