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Be Still And Know... I Am God

 

I'm 32. I have always have been a angry, egoistic, restless kind of a woman since my childhood. I am not a religious kind of personality and not even much believe in rituals and dogmas. Before 3 years when I was in New Jersey, I had a strange experience. In my journey of seeking and searching I came across this web site. I read other people's experiences and got inspired to share mine. I am trying to tie that experience in words. Its very difficult to interpret as it is. I am not very good in English... Still going to try to convey in words. But I know its far more than just these words may say.

One day I was reading a book on Solitude on computer. It was a fresh morning. I was alone in the house. Slowly...slowly...my mind started to become calm and relaxed & I went in a heightened state of awareness where every thing was seeming one... Everything was connected to everything else. A sort of immense bliss was streaming throughout my entire being. I was feeling extreme love for everyone. My consciousness had become totally radiant and alive. It was great inner silence. Thoughts were there but not so frantic as they were used to be. Everything was seeming so beautiful... So clear... As if I had got a new vision... That I had never experienced it before. It was as if a child looking at the world first time... The fog of ego lifted up and the truth has revealed. It was the experience of total bliss, peace, power, content and much more than I could ever explain. The time had completely stopped for a while. I had a deep feeling... I have always been here for centuries and will always be here... I am home. Everything was just PERFECT as if some kind of mysterious puzzle has got solved. It was just as if everything happening around me is so "perfect and Precise"...Like Pythagoras Theorem or any other mathematical equation! This was first time I knew the meaning of PERFECTION in my life. I was experiencing a sense of vastness or limitlessness. I was feeling that I am God for short time... My body is mere a costume and I am beyond this costume... I am in everyone and everywhere at the same time... Everyone including trees, mountains, people are my projections wearing different costumes. I am endless. First time I was experiencing that... God is not in temple or church... He is not mere in the form of idols. He is in me and everyone and everywhere...that's it. He is formless. I can feel now with deep conviction that I KNOW GOD!

A person who has never eaten a chocolate in his lifetime since birth, how can we explain him in words "HOW DOES IT TASTE?"...I am in the same situation right now. Only personal experience mere can give a real TASTE.

It was immense joyous state without reason. I wished this state would never end. I was trying to hold it... But I couldn't. It lasted whole day (almost 6-7 hrs)...Very slowly it was fading away. I had no control on it. It had immense power to transform my life permanently. Till now though that experience has faded away completely, It has left its traces behind in my soul. It is just an unforgettable day in my life... Its 5 March 2008! Since then I celebrate this day just like festival.

Since that day I changed completely. My outlook has become more positive, less angry, less worried. That experience freed me permanently from past hurts. My nature has become more accepting, loving towards people and situations. Ego fluctuations do come, but do not rise to that peak like before. It loses its grip on me. The ego itself feels powerless. Whenever ego arises my awareness harness it & immediately I find the way to peace and things starts seeming perfect.

I feel compassion and love for everyone whom I was hating before. I try to see the positive side of the people. I do not get upset when people do wrong things. I tell myself "Forgive them, they haven't experienced God. They are behaving from their own level of awareness."

I have become more peaceful, efficient, confident and creative. I appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. I enjoy being myself. I do take care of my SELF and fulfill its needs.

I wish everybody in the world should get at least a glimpse of such experience in their journey. I am very grateful that I have had such experience.

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Comments about this spiritual experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by spiritual-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, megh, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments but I won't participate in the discussion.

JosephRex (1 stories) (8 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-12)
Megh: What a wonderful experience, and so beautifully written! I feel you did a great job of expressing it in words, with fine turns of phrase like: "The fog of ego lifted" and "I have always been here for centuries and will always be here... I am home." I agree that only personal experience can truly provide the *taste* of the sacred reality, but poetic expressions of the experience can give people the *scent* of it at least.

I also liked the part where you said: "My body is mere a costume and I am beyond this costume... I am in everyone and everywhere at the same time... Everyone including trees, mountains, people are my projections wearing different costumes. I am endless." This reminds me very much of an experience I had some years ago. I haven't sent it as a story for the Spiritual Experiences site yet, but I have it on a page on my own site:

Www.ramaspirit.com/Autobio-I_4.html

If you read it you'll see that at the end I happened to see a poster image of Krishna's transformation into the Universal Form, and it struck me as an amazing synchronicity showing exactly what I had just experienced. Since you live in India you may be familiar with this; the image also strikes me as similar to what you describe in your own experience. Here's a webpage I found with a slideshow of five paintings depicting the Universal Form:

Http://hubpages.com/slide/universal-form/1130351

You awoke to the reality that God is not JUST in temple or church; he (and/or she or it) is not MERELY in the form of idols. But I would like to add that for many people, God is indeed still in the churches and temples, and bodied forth in the idols and images. It all depends on your point of view, and the touchstones for your own sacred inner space. IMHO!

NaturalScience:
I love your passage about "the Luck of the Virtuous" ~ it explains exactly what it takes to get good luck, and that it's not really a simple matter of coincidence like most people think.

I enjoy reading your comments. You always seem to have your own unique take on everything, often very insightful. Unfortunately we seem to be having technical glitches in our efforts to communicate in other venues. When I got your message that your email to me bounced, I sent one to you. I wonder if it got through? Also I wonder if you saw my last post to you on my blog:

Http://metablog18aa.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/intro/#comments

I suggest that you go back to this page with our dialogue and try again to email me at the address I posted there. With *luck* maybe we can connect the loose ends!
NaturalScience (3 stories) (110 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-02-11)
Namaste sister, you were very lucky to meet THAT just "by chance" and this goodluck is, according to Law of Karma, always result of hard work in the past, you had the Luck of the Virtuous.

Thus you deserve better than accusing yourself for your past behavior patterns, this is for sure. "I was angry, restless, egoistic" - sister, you were like a hungry wolf, no wonder that you behaved this way; now your OLD soul has been fed on Nectar, finally, and this is the natural reason for your betterment of behavior and mood after the experience of Oneness.

You will get hungrier again. Then you will react according to your mortal limitations again. This is no reason for shame but a natural law.
Thus now is the time for some exercise, at least to give you a feeling of reassurance that you can meet wit THAT again before you die. But keep from formal paths (perhaps except basic Zen done without koans and without a master), for they don't fit to a lone wolf of freedom as you.
If you know any activity that works like meditation in your case, perhaps listening to good music (besides, do you know RUSH?), or reading spiritual scriptures, or painting,
Do it regularly now, as a habit,
But not as a ritual - you don't have to pay the Supreme Infinite with "taxes of sacrifice" for further meetings, for THAT comes to you when IT wants and not when YOU want it.

Instead of any rituals, do good karma in daily life, which is nothing more and nothing less than keep the Golden Rule and have respect of all living beings - as an act of saying thanks to THAT, of Eucharist. This will grant you good luck in mundane life and best chances to meet THAT again.

It is good that you were NOT spiritually or Yoga active, or in some psychotherapy, before the experience. Thank God for this!

For if you had tried to change yourself by whatever exercises that are recommended for this purpose, you would quite surely have RETARDED the moment of reaching THAT and not accelerated it; you would have known yourself no more, the trained new qualities would have masked your innermost heart's voice.

And it is always the voice of one's own heart which calls you nearer to THAT,

No matter how imperfect and incomplete its calls may seem,
YES, GOD MAKES USE EVEN OF BAD WAYS FOR A GOOD END,
Even the calls into mistake, error, sin lead to learning and thus nearer to THAT, to Enlightenment.

I once read of a man of Advaita people who came to spontaneous enlightenment after sixteen years of drinking and drugging. He called this misbehavior, in his look-back, "his sadhna" - his spiritual penance!

And some German Protestant theologer of 1950s wrote "The Saint IS the sinner" - a saying I hardly begin to understand. You perhaps already do understand him.

Congratulations!
nioaba (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-11)
hi megh I am 45 years old and I had exactly the same experience when I was 18-24.I will soon type those experiences here. I believe that we are all the same person in separate differentiated repeats. When I had my first experience I felt One like if god was observing the creation in deep awe. I realized that I was existing in every other person or animal I could see but in a differentiated form...,and that was making me feel deep love for any one. Actually I felt alive for first time and I worshiped the living creator. Read more for the thoughts and the conclutions of my experience in my blog in http://www.nioaba.blogspot.com nikosathinamar [at] mail.com feel free to contact with me and share
nioaba (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-11)
hi megh I am 45 years old and I had exactly the same experience when I was 18-24.I will soon type those experiences here. I believe that we are all the same person in separate differentiated repeats. When I had my first experience I felt One like if god was observing the creation in deep awe. I realized that I was existing is every other person or animal I could see but in a differentiated form. Actually I felt alive for first time and I worshiped the living creator read more in http://www.nioaba.blogspot.com my email is nikosathinamar [at] gmail.com feel free to contact with me and share 😊
GoldenGate (22 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-03-02)
Although language might be a barrier for you but it is a clear enough of a story for others to digest and understand. Yes your explanation help others to rekindle their nice little memory of their own experience concerning their blessed moments, moments of grace. Their interconnectedness to the whole universe around them in their unique timing. It is important to celebrate it the way you can remember and rekindle your gift and your thanks to the universe and to yourself. And by doing this you send your grace unfailingly into your inner core.
😜 😳
Http://indigo-crystal-starseed.blogspot.com/
Gregory_Brown (guest)
 
8 years ago (2010-02-23)
I have not logged in here very much for more than a few months. If someone/anyone was hoping to hear from me, I apologize to you. I've been spreading myself too thin. I will try to visit here more often. There are so many people asking for help..., especially the very young. They shouldn't be forgotten. They need encouragement, and kindness and interest in their life.

God Bless
Be. . (guest)
+1
8 years ago (2010-02-09)
Megh, beautiful story God is unconditional love. When the student is ready the teacher will come. Just open your heart and your mind to all the possibilities for god is in all. Just be... May the love of god be with you always.
kalamata248 (guest)
 
8 years ago (2010-02-04)
Megh,great story, I read it twice. Your story gives us hope. Wishing you a beautiful life.
Zendancer (1 stories) (27 posts)
+1
8 years ago (2010-02-02)
Megh: Yes, I've read Nisargadatta and virtually every other teacher in all of the major world religious traditions. After my initial experience, I spent several weeks in libraries reading all of the spiritual literature I could find in an effort to understand what had happened to me.

I could list all of the hundreds of questions that bothered me as well as the answers, but the answers would only be meaningful to someone who had had similar experiences and who had transcended the intellect. I'll provide a few examples:

1. Is there a God? Yes, but God is not what people imagine. God is beyond all dualities and nothing can be said or thought about THAT. God can be experienced, but cannot be conceived.

2. What is a subatomic particle, really? It is an idea, only. It is a way of thinking about something that cannot be divided.

3. What is a tree or any "thing" else? All things (like subatomic particles) are ideas--ways of thinking about something that is not divided.

4. What could explain all of the observer paradoxes in every field of science? The observer and the observed do not exist. They are one and the same. The universe is a unified whole. Both the observer and the observed are imaginary entities.

5. Where did I come from and where I am going? Who I am (as well as everybody else) is unimaginable, and there is no coming or going. Who I am was here before the universe began and will be here after this universe has disappeared.

6. What is mu? What is the sound of one hand clapping? How does a strong man lift his own leg? Etc. The answers to these and other formal koans should never be communicated in public because it "would steal someone else's treasure." The joy of penetrating koans like these should be reserved for those who are willing to push beyond the limits of intellection.

7. What is samadhi, kensho, satori, etc? There is no way to communicate the answers to these kinds of questions within language. One has to experience these things for oneself. All of these things involve unity-consciousness, so they are beyond the power of imagination to simulate.

8. What is the meaning of life? Sitting here typing these words.

9. What is the purpose of life? Sitting here typing these words.

10. How did life arise in an inanimate universe? The universe is NOT inanimate; the whole thing is alive, conscious, intelligent, and unified.

11. What is the truth? The truth is unimaginable. Any truth that can be imagined is a relative truth. Absolute truth is beyond the intellect.

12. What is time or space? Time and space do not exist. They are products of imagination equivalent to lines of longitude and latitude. There is only "what is" and "what is" is always here and now.

There were many other questions, but these few examples should suffice to illustrate the nature of what was discovered. Cheers.
veve (guest)
+1
8 years ago (2010-02-02)
yes, I know how you felt. I had a very similar experience. God is Great!
iannic (3 stories) (8 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-02-02)
Hi Megh, I read your story with great interest, and related to what happened to you, especially when you said that while it was happening, "you loved everyone." It appears to me that what you experienced was "God's Divine Love," this can only happen through prayer to God, I mean "Soul Prayer to God" and not merely words the mind puts together to form a prayer, which just goes to show that you do not have to be of a religious nature to find God.
If you are interested in finding out the truth about your experience and wish to know how you can repeat it, go to my website and have a read, I think you will find the answers to the many questions you have, you too zendancer. Http://www.truthforallpeople.com The website is free with no strings attached.
Thank you for sharing your story dear sister, Love and Blessings, Ian ❤
Zendancer (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-02-01)
Megh: Thanks for sharing your story. I had an almost identical experience (you can read about it under "First Enlightenment Experience"). What struck me as humorous is that your experience occurred on March 5, 2008 and my experience occurred on March 5, 1984. I had never thought about celebrating that day until I read your story, but I think I'll start doing that from now on. Like you, it was the most important day of my life and it deserves to be celebrated. Thanks again. Reading your account was a happy way to start the day!

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