To come to the topic I will have to give a brief introduction on where I live and who I am. Well, the house I live in was build around 100 years ago by my ancestors and it has been a part of a temple which belonged to the same family. As the maintenance of the temple became difficult during the passage of time, the newer generation handed over the temple administration to the people of the village now known as the Nattakkal Vishnumoorthy temple. The people built a new temple, and summoned the spiritual presence from the house. But it is said that the *mantramoorthis still remain in the holy pooja room of the house. A number of incidents has occurred that has forced us to believe in the existence of these invisible shakthis time to time, few being my own personal experiences. Its also well known that not anybody can stay in the house for a long period of time unless you maintain the proper decorum. Its quite a wonder how my parents have managed to stay here for 16 long years. Even the said me had been shipped to a hostel when I was just 10 years old. I am not relating that has happened to us as an interference from these invisible shakthis, but sometimes everything that we think as normal has been questioned.
I was just 3 year old when we arrived, to live In this house and being a single child and having working parents, I always found time to wander off into the pooja room to talk to the deities and photos of Krishna there. I could almost say He was my first friend. I would sit there and talk to him about everything under the sun and would imagine him talking back to me with the same humour and love. My parents had a huge part in developing this unusual bond. They were quite the devotees, who would rise early In the morning to perform prayers and aarathis.
Well,for me God was not someone whom I prayed to and respected, but above all he was my friend and my secret keeper. Many would find this sort of relationship queer but I can't explain His presence I feel when I am in this house, especially the pooja room.
I can quote quite a lot of incidents which has occurred to me and my family which confirms our belief that there Is a strong invisible power watching over us. Majority of the signs from him comes to us as dreams. But there has been other occasions where it was too real as-well.Since the the house was once a part of the temple, we always had to make sure that it is still maintained with the purity of a temple. Hence I don't have to explain to you that alcohol is not entertained here. Well there was a housekeeper, who got drunk in front of the veranda of the house and fell asleep there. But in the morning he found himself in the fields adjoining the house. This could be dismissed as a drunk mans forgetfulness. But such incidents repeated where they found themselves thrown out of the house. And everyone was convinced that the holy premises of the pooja room must not be tainted.
The pooja room is constructed in such a way that it has got two bedrooms adjoining it. One to its left and one to its right. Our bedroom for years has been the one to the left and let me tell you with all sincerity, every time we had made a mistake in the house that we believe must have displeased the moorthis, we get a reminder in our dreams. According to my parents, they once performed sexual acts in the room and both of them received the same dream in which a tall dark man comes with a shoolam and tell them how sacred this place is and never to repeat such acts in this room. This happens only in the two adjoining rooms that I have mentioned earlier. In no other rooms do we get such dreams.
There was yet another incident that occurred. I don't exactly remember my age, let's assume I was around 14 or 15. I was lighting up the lamps of the pooja room. Even as a teenager, my habitual conversations with the deities had never ceased and I jokingly asked god "Are you really there or am I talking to no one?". When I didn't get an answer I pouted and said "Prove me that you are really present!" I don't know how I can convince you that this is the truth, but slowly a low rumbling could be heard inside the pooja room and the noise grew so loud that it became unbearable to my ears and I screamed and ran out of the pooja room. My mom who was sitting right outside the room gave me a look of astonishment because she hadn't heard a thing. How do I explain this to others?.
Me being the devotee of Vishnu moorthy has never believed that he has any discrepancies between people on any note, say gender, caste etc. I strongly believed that the only factor he looked into was how pure our mindset was. That alone could make you his favorite child. But my mom was quite an orthodox and strictly believed in all the rules of the temple. We even had an argument on whether I should sleep in the adjoining room while I was having my PMS. I insisted that I sleep in the bedroom with mom because a change in room gives me troubled sleep. Hence mom finally caved in and soon we fell asleep. What I dreamt surely shocked me. I dreamt the same room, but instead of mom I had my hostel roommates with me. We were chatting non stop when I noticed the state of the room. There were termites crawling the walls and there was a third bed perpendicular to the ones originally present in the room. There were ants on the floor and they were all moving steadily to the third bed, which had my woolen blanket on top of it. My friend also notices the state of the room for the first time and asks me "why the hell are these ants all over your bed?". I took the edge of the blanket and shook it to get rid of the ants and said jokingly "why?Are you suggesting that I am hiding a corpse underneath my blanket?" And lo behold, my blankets revealed swollen disfigured feet of a black man. We ran outside the room screaming and all the while, I kept thinking how I have to change the bed sheets as soon as possible. I woke up with a gasp and immediately shuffled out of the room. Maybe its my mind playing a game on me, but it shook me quite well. As I lay down and tried deciphering the dream I remembered my mom telling me that Vishnu moorthy resides in the pooja room and the rest of the moorthis, namely the god Gulika who is the guard of Vishnumoorthy secures the perimeter. If you are aware of Lord Gulika, he is quite kind and easily pleased but ruthless when it comes to things that displeases him. He acts spontaneously irregardless of who is at the receiving end of his wrath. The tall, monstrous black man indeed fits his description and I realized that I was given a reminder to stay out of the premises that he is guarding. It did pain me and I found it quite hard to understand why I would be considered impure just because I am having menstruation. But some incidents have no explanation and maybe as I said, it could be my mind playing games on me.
Whatever it maybe, I have learned that some experiences are beyond my level of interpretation and I have accepted them as a part of my life. But it gives me an inner strength and motivation as I realize that my life is neatly interwoven with the experiences and peeks into the world unknown to us. It gives me a reason to connect with the world on a different level, acknowledge my goals as a person in an enhanced and selfless manner. It makes me feel special because not only do I get to witness some wonders that most people don't get a chance to, but also an opportunity to realize who I am and what should be my contribution to the society.
I could bet that most of the people in my friend circle would scoff if I explain to them all that thoughts and findings, I consider to be amusing. They prefer to live in a little bubble of their false sense of security and reality and anything outside it scares them, let alone accept it. The first step in being closer to God is by being opening your mind. By being willing to acknowledge certain things that are definitely out of our comfort zone.
I sincerely hope that someday, maybe the world will realize that everything that we hold near and dear to us are just illusions and the truth is just the cosmic energy that we harvest in and around us.