Today I lost my job. You may think this is a strange way to start a story but if the worst is in the beginning then it can only get better. You see I was sitting with a client in her home when I received a call. This call was from a business associate of mine. He proceeded to inform me that he had my paycheck and wanted to know where he could meet me. The next words out of his mouth were "I'm sorry Michael they have laid you off". I felt like someone had hit me in the chest with a sledgehammer. Fear gripped my whole body from head to toe. I felt hurt that they would do this to me. I felt anger that the company would have a friend, colleagues tell me the stunning news.
What would happen now? Would I lose everything I had worked so hard for? Would I drift back into the disease I worked so hard to conquer, alcoholism and drug addiction. What would happen to my family, wife and two children? Would I lose my home and all of my material possessions? All these question flew through my mind in the matter of a few seconds. My client looked at me as I hung up the phone. "Is everything ok" she asked. "Oh just a small problem", I stated. "Do you need to go"? She proceeded to ask. "Oh yes, can I get back with you tomorrow" was my reply, as I picked up my briefcase and made my way to the front door. I felt numb!
When I pulled away from her house I seem to lose all sense of direction. I do not know if I should turn left or right. I had to stop for a few moments to gather my thoughts. When I finally pulled myself together I headed back to my office. Still my mind was racing trying to figure out what had just happened. I didn't want to go to the office for I felt humiliated.
As I walked into the office everyone looked down at their shoes as if I wasn't there. Hide the pain, hide the fear, at no matter what cost do not let these people know this is killing you inside. "Well these people never really paid me enough anyway", was the response to the pain I felt. I continued to make humorous remarks for the next 5 minutes until I walked out for the last time.
All the way home I thought of all the different methods I had ever used to medicate my pain, Alcohol, Drugs, Crime, Women, Gambling the goes on. Would any of these works? What dues would I have to pay? What would be my consequences?
I decided to head home, for I knew what waited there. I knew that was where my healing process would start. Before I was half way home, I received another call on my cell phone. Was this more bad news? I hesitated to answer it, but when I did I heard the voice Of God talking to me through my son. "Daddy, I just wanted to tell you I was home from school, I love you, see you when you get home." At that moment my healing started, the pain and hurt was not as devastating as it was a moment before.
You see, I have a place I can go to and a person there that will listen. Know this place is not 1336 Lampassas, my address. The person is not my son, for he is too young to understand all of this. The place is heaven and the person is My God. I know that he has reserved a place for me there. I don't have to wait until my body is dead, I can go home anytime and sit and talk to my master. I can talk to Him about my pain and hurt. I can put it in His hand, the hands that were nailed to the cross for me years ago. You see My God gave up His son Christ Jesus to carry all of my burdens. All the fear, anger, hurt, loneliness, guilt and shame. Yes he did this for me.
You need to understand that everything I have today my God has given me. He has given me a beautiful son Damian Paul, who is 10 years old. There is a beautiful story behind him that we will get to in another chapter. My daughter Brooke Elizabeth is 8 months ago at this writing. When I look at her and see that smile, it reaffirms to me that there is a God. If there was ever an angel in heaven god sent her down to me. Next there is my wife Tammy, everyone who has come to know her tells me I'm the luckiest man in the world. I will not disagree with them. This precious woman has been my rock. She has stood by me in the devastating times in my life. She loves and supports me and shows me that feeling is not a weakness its a strength. Tammy I love you.
Well, at this time you are wondering has everything worked out. Did he lose his house? Did he get a better job or a job at all? Is he homeless sitting on the corner with a sign saying "will work for food?" I am in the same boat as you are. I don't know what's going to happen. There is one thing I do know. My God shall supply all of my needs according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus.
Come on, let us take this journey together, God knows I need the company.
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